The All Blacks have suffered 131 test defeats since 1903, with Saturday’s loss to the Springboks being the biggest by points margin. Some have hurt more than others.
Moments after the test in Wellington, the discussion began in the NZME office, and no doubt the same topic was popular among pubs and lounges across the country - where does that rank in the All Blacks’ worst defeats?
Cameron McMillan runs through the list of All Blacks defeats, which now includes six under Scott Robertson, to work out which were the most painful.
Honourable mentions:
Springboks 35 All Blacks 7, Twickenham, 2023
Sydney 40 All Blacks 17, Penrith, 1992
Llanelli 9 All Blacks 3, Llanelli, 1972
Springboks 17 All Blacks 0, Durban, 1928
Australia 16 All Blacks 6, Dublin, 1991
Springboks 26 All Blacks 10, Nelspruit, 2022
New Zealand’s only loss to Wales and it was the All Blacks’ maiden defeat. Still hurts 120 years later, especially when a TMO would have awarded Bob Deans a try.
Pain scale: The hurt has mostly been lost in the annals of time so not exactly generational trauma. But considering penicillin wasn’t invented for another 23 years, the players probably had a different pain threshold.
Unlike the Boks at Sky Stadium on Saturday, it was the first half at Soldier Field where the All Blacks were done, as Ireland stunned early to take a 25-8 lead into the break. It was extended to 22 points shortly after halftime. The All Blacks, on an 18-test win streak, cut the lead to four points with 15 minutes to play but Robbie Hanshaw closed out the win, much to the delight of the strong Irish crowd in Chicago. A great All Blacks comeback all for nothing.
Pain scale: A bang on the funnybone. It hurt to give up the perfect record to Ireland but the ready-made excuses included the fact All Blacks had players out of position. Plus it was the start of a golden era for Ireland and the All Blacks got one back a few weeks later in Dublin.
Scott Barrett was given a red card before halftime and it only got worse from there. The future All Blacks skipper was sent off by Jerome Garces for making contact with the head of Michael Hooper. The Wallabies were up 16-12 at the break and ran riot in the second half. But 47 points scored against the All Blacks! Just nuts.
“[The All Blacks] will always be respected, always have a nursery of remarkable talent,” wrote Chris Rattue. “But the intimidating aura which has served them so well fell with an almighty thud in an exhilarating test match.”
Pain scale: A stub of the toe as fans were in dunny-flushing mode with a World Cup just a few months away.
Much is made of the second test when France secured the series in what currently stands as the last team to beat the All Blacks at Eden Park. But a week earlier was a more painful watch for home fans as the All Blacks backs made repeat mistakes and schoolboy Jonah Lomu looked directionless on debut. Down 22-3 late, Frank Bunce finally scored a try in the closing stages but it was all for naught. France’s first win over the All Blacks on NZ soil since 1979.
Pain scale: Like spilling red wine and garlic bread on your favourite top. It felt that the All Blacks’ golden run was possibly over. England had defeated them the previous November, and Australia had the number throughout the early 90s. The good news was the Lomu guy turned out to be pretty decent.
England produced an astonishing performance at Twickenham in their biggest victory over the ABs. Sir Steve Hansen’s hopes of a perfect end to the year were dashed when England scored three rapid-fire second-half tries to Brad Barritt, Chris Ashton and Manu Tuilagi between the 54th and 61st minutes.
It was an astonishing meltdown from an All Blacks side that seemed to hit the wall after a week that saw most of the squad struck down with a bug.
Pain scale: That feeling when you just ate something bad and many toilet visits await. It was bizarre to witness one of the greatest All Blacks sides go down by 17 points to England. Just one of three defeats between the World Cup victories in 2011 and 2015.
The All Blacks didn’t play that bad; it was just that England were amazing. Picking Scott Barrett at blindside flanker didn’t work and the England defensive plan was superb. Winning one World Cup is hard enough, while three in a row appears impossible. Just a weird way for the superb Steve Hansen era to finish.
Pain scale: Like a Maro Itoje stamp to the nether regions. From the kickoff there was that ‘ah oh’ feeling of helplessness when it was clear England were the far better team.
The Lions won the first test 9-3 before the All Blacks responded with a 22-12 win the following week in Christchurch. There were scary scenes in the 25th minute when second test hero Bob Burgess was saved from choking on his own tongue by Lions fullback John Williams, who was a medical student at the time. Laurie Mains scored the only try for the home side as Barry John led the Lions to victory. A draw in the fourth test saw the British and Irish Lions claim what remains their only series win in New Zealand.
Pain scale: Like a lion bite to the Achilles. A week later the sides drew 14-14 in Colin Meads’ last test as the Lions secured a famous series win.
It wasn’t that bad a performance but it was the culmination of five straight Tri Nations defeats, including two at home, that really poured the salt shaker into the open wounds of the All Blacks’ 1998 season. For those who didn’t experience it - it was a very very dark time. Fans even spat at coach John Hart’s horse.
The All Blacks were expected to bounce back as they had a week off while the Wallabies were flying back after losing the Tri Nations decider at Ellis Park the previous week. Leading 11-0 at the break, thanks to some Christian Cullen brilliance, it looked like John Hart’s men would finally break the losing streak. The All Blacks were still holding on to a 14-9 lead with seven minutes to play, and an attacking scrum when substitute Scott Robertson knocked on. A few minutes later Matt Burke scored to level the game up with two minutes to play, dislocating his shoulder while diving over. John Eales kicked a conversion to take the lead, followed by a penalty to secure the win.
Pain scale: A dislocated shoulder is pretty fitting, especially when you’re trying to lift the Bledisloe Cup. The worst part of the defeat was that it was only August and the test season was over. No end-of-year tour to look forward to in 1998, so the All Blacks had to wait until the following June before they played again.
Hard to bag a team that scored 31 points in a World Cup semifinal but let me bag away. They really lost the plot in the final quarter. Lomu was superb as the All Blacks went out to a 24-10 lead after 45 minutes and then came possibly one of the worst 35-minute patches for the ABs (well it was until Saturday’s test in Wellington).
France, the Six Nations wooden-spooners, scored 33 points unanswered. Much like 2007, the All Blacks played France earlier in the year and smashed them 54-7 only to lose when it mattered.
Pain scale: Being repeatedly eye-gouged, head-butted and having your testicles grabbed - which is what the All Blacks later accused the French of doing.
The All Blacks out in the quarter-finals. Talk about a nightmare result. An All Blacks side that had the likes of McCaw, Carter, Collins, Muliaina, Rokocoko...I could go on. The French just wouldn’t go away and the All Blacks had bad injury luck, first losing Carter before his replacement Nick Evans also left the field.
There was also a forward pass in there. A few years ago, Dylan Cleaver did a brilliant oral history covering the events of the day. I was there amongst the stunned All Blacks fans in Cardiff. It sucked.
Pain scale: “From down here that falling guillotine looks a bit rusty”. At least the All Blacks won the next two World Cups.