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You can't bully a bully into stopping bullying. Image / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Why our school bullies need love

16 May, 2019 7:00am
3 minutes to read

We punish too easily in New Zealand, writes Kyle MacDonald.

It's a fact: you can't learn to talk from a screen. But is the advice out there helpful? Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

What we're missing in the kids and screen time debate

9 May, 2019 9:00am
3 minutes to read

It's a fact: you can't learn to talk from a screen. But is the advice out there helpful?

How do we set a target when we can't even predict who is at risk? Photo / Supplied

LIFESTYLE

Kyle MacDonald: Ardern and our uncomfortable truth about suicide

1 May, 2019 2:48pm
4 minutes to read

We know a lot less about why people kill themselves than anyone is comfortable admitting.

Should New Zealand allow those who are in pain to choose to end their lives? Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Psychotherapist's concerns over euthanasia in NZ

18 Apr, 2019 7:00am
3 minutes to read

After spending his career taking a stance against suicide, Kyle MacDonald is worried.

LIFESTYLE

Why you trust some people more than others

11 Apr, 2019 7:00am
3 minutes to read

Kyle MacDonald on overcoming inherent prejudice and the 'in-group' phenomenon.

We don't have to be more careful with young people and children, or try to protect them from the truth, writes Kyle MacDonald Image / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

How to talk to kids about mental health

4 Apr, 2019 7:00am
3 minutes to read

When explaining mental health to kids, don't sugar-coat it, writes Kyle MacDonald.

LIFESTYLE

Psychotherapist on PTSD, processing Christchurch tragedy

19 Mar, 2019 10:35am
4 minutes to read

Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald on what you may be feeling and how to address it.

Charity is a strange thing. Somehow in the last half of the 20th century we bought the idea that tax is theft, but charity is virtuous, writes Kyle MacDonald. Image / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

What Kiwis are missing about tax, love and charity

14 Mar, 2019 7:00am
4 minutes to read

Kyle MacDonald asks: Are your morals more important than young people's lives?

Perhaps the real point about school strikes is that we should be supporting the next generation to have a voice. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

What should Kiwi kids be allowed to wag school for?

7 Mar, 2019 8:34am
3 minutes to read

Royal visits? Definitely okay. Family trips to Fiji or America's Cup parades? Sure.

In addition to potentially legalising and strictly regulating cannabis, should New Zealand also be following Portugal's lead for all other illicit drugs? Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Legalising drugs: What can we learn from Portugal?

28 Feb, 2019 8:38am
3 minutes to read

Is the Portugal Model the best approach as New Zealand looks to legalise cannabis?

In Peterson's view, it's all about the individual. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Kyle MacDonald: The problem with Jordan Peterson's advice for young men

21 Feb, 2019 8:27am
4 minutes to read

Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald on what's lacking from famed behavioural therapist.

Being secretive is mentally hard work, as the theory goes. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

The best thing you can do with your darkest secrets

14 Feb, 2019 8:00am
3 minutes to read

Kyle MacDonald on the science of keeping secrets.

According to a new study, early risers are less likely to suffer mental health problems. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Is early rising really better for your health?

7 Feb, 2019 7:29am
3 minutes to read

While early birds get the worm, night owls a having more fun according to Kyle MacDonald.

LIFESTYLE

How to start being kind to yourself

31 Jan, 2019 7:00am
3 minutes to read

We all have times when we could be a little kinder to ourselves.

Beraiah Hales and Joseph Parker were members of a group called the Roast Busters who were investigated by police from 2011. Photo / supplied

LIFESTYLE

A lesson in saying sorry for Roast Busters ringleader

25 Jan, 2019 3:00pm
3 minutes to read

Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald on Parker's textbook "Public Relations Sorry".

LIFESTYLE

Why 'toxic masculinity' is harming everyone

17 Jan, 2019 7:00am
4 minutes to read

Staunch ideas of how men and women "should behave" can cause serious damage.

Drinking or taking drugs to excess, deliberately hurting ourselves, arguing with and hurting those we love, avoiding important meetings or even job interviews, can all make it look like we're our own worst enemy. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

The truth about people who are 'self-destructive'

3 Jan, 2019 7:00am
3 minutes to read

COMMENT: What's really going on when we describe ourselves or others as self-destructive?

The expression of the self is pushed aside in favour of what we call a

LIFESTYLE

What it really means when someone needs to 'find themselves'

27 Dec, 2018 7:58am
3 minutes to read

Taking time to "find yourself" makes me wonder: if you're lost, who's looking for you?

It's bizarre how some still wish to sanction incredibly poor treatment of children. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

As New Zealanders, why do we hate children so much?

26 Dec, 2018 7:00am
4 minutes to read

That children should be excluded from public places is quite simply discrimination.

It's natural to want to point the finger. But the uncomfortable truth is we are all responsible. Every single one of us. Photo / Getty

LIFESTYLE

The uncomfortable truth about New Zealanders and suicide

24 Dec, 2018 1:00pm
4 minutes to read

COMMENT: Kyle MacDonald on how our efforts to help someone may make things worse.

Some believe personality may even be genetic. Certainly it has been a widely held assumption that personality, beyond adolescence, is fixed for adult life. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

What you really need to know about your personality type

20 Dec, 2018 10:20am
3 minutes to read

The vital element often forgotten when considering your personality type.

Many hold onto this magical wish that one day their parents will change and they will get what they need and what they've missed out on. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

The reality of Christmas for abused Kiwi kids

13 Dec, 2018 7:24am
3 minutes to read

Comment: For many it really is the most wonderful time of the year. But not for all.

Am I dreaming? No. If every one of the 40 recommendations of

LIFESTYLE

What mental health in NZ could look like in 2030

6 Dec, 2018 9:03am
4 minutes to read

A psychotherapist imagines NZ if new mental health recommendations were implemented.

It's time for the Govt to deliver what we can truly call a People's Mental Health System. Photo / 123RF

NEW ZEALAND

Kyle MacDonald: Time to put people at heart of system

5 Dec, 2018 5:00am
3 minutes to read

COMMENT: Time for Govt to deliver what we can truly call a People's Mental Health System.

Ete, pictured with his wife, Mele, talked about how he overcame his violence. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Kiwi comedian shares battle with domestic violence

29 Nov, 2018 7:00am
5 minutes to read

Kiwi comedian tells Kyle MacDonald how he overcame his battles and found forgiveness.

The fact they are so dangerous is exactly why we need to make them legal, argues Kyle MacDonald. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Kyle MacDonald: Why we need to legalise synthetic drugs

15 Nov, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

The fact they are so dangerous is why we need to make them legal, writes Kyle MacDonald.

Generosity towards those we aren't related to does nothing to improve our genes' chances, yet experiments have consistently proved that people of all cultures engage in altruistic behaviour. Photo / 123RF

LIFESTYLE

Why you shouldn't lose your faith in humanity

1 Nov, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

Given the opportunity, and the right conditions, most people will do the right thing.

Politics, of course, provides no shortage of targets for our hate. Photo / Supplied

LIFESTYLE

Jami-Lee Ross saga: It's time for compassion, New Zealand

25 Oct, 2018 8:09am
3 minutes to read

Comment: Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald on JLR, mental health and hate in our communities.

LIFESTYLE

How 'keeping up with the Joneses' can make you sick

18 Oct, 2018 8:26am
4 minutes to read

Kyle MacDonald on how pronounced status anxiety is here in New Zealand.

Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald on why he feels

LIFESTYLE

Psychotherapist's concerns about Mental Health Awareness Week

11 Oct, 2018 7:07am
4 minutes to read

Psychotherapist reveals "deep confliction" about Mental Health Awareness Week.

What I wanted was someone to ask if I was okay. To see past the wilfully disobedient, sharp tongued persona, and offer to help. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Fraser High walkout kids: What we've misunderstood

27 Sep, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

COMMENT: Psychotherapist on why it's crucial we support these student protests.

Why would women who self-identify as valuing equality actively discriminate based on gender? Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Kiwi feminists discriminating against our transgender community

13 Sep, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

As transphobic posters appear around NZ, Kyle MacDonald unpacks the group behind them.

While Harry Potter ultimately overcomes Voldemort, in reality we can never truly defeat evil. Photo / Supplied

LIFESTYLE

Harry Potter, school expulsions and the nature of evil

6 Sep, 2018 7:59am
3 minutes to read

Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald on the call to remove schools' rights to expel kids.

Reputedly coined by the right wing British Magazine

LIFESTYLE

Is Jacinda Ardern guilty of 'virtue signalling'?

23 Aug, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

Kyle MacDonald discusses the term and whether or not it applies to our Prime Minister.

Conversion therapy is a highly controversial topic. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Why gay conversion therapy needs to be banned

16 Aug, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

COMMENT: Why would we want to make a vulnerable group feel even less accepted?

There is no doubt that being a mother is hard work. But should you be getting paid to do it? Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Why we need to pay mothers

9 Aug, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

COMMENT: "Why do we not pay mothers who choose to stay home and provide full-time care?"

Images of dirty old men, strangers with sweets and trench coats dominate what we wrongly assume to pose a danger to our children. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Why we need to end the 'stranger danger' myth

2 Aug, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

Strangers aren't the real danger when it comes to protecting your children.

The truth is, I don't know many rich therapists. More to the point, I don't know a single one who does it for the money. Image / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Why is mental health therapy in Auckland so expensive?

19 Jul, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

Comment: "Inequality is toxic. Nowhere is this inequality more obvious than Auckland."

We're all hardwired to care more about our ego and being right than the facts. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Kyle MacDonald: Why you'll never win an argument online

12 Jul, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

People say 'don't read the comments'. But of course you do. Here's how to handle them.

LIFESTYLE

Kyle MacDonald: No such thing as a naughty child

5 Jul, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald on the truth about the concept of a "naughty child".

If enough people do take action, then things can change, writes Kyle MacDonald. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Are you tired of people being 'outraged'?

28 Jun, 2018 8:16am
3 minutes to read

Avocado prices to Trump's border policies, here's what you should do with that outrage.

While we are more connected to each other than ever, we can also use technology to avoid real relating. Image / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Is the way you communicate ruining your relationship?

21 Jun, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald on how to overcome the difficulties of modern love.

Understanding development and the fact we're always playing catch up means we need to recognise that, as parents, we get it wrong a lot more than we like to admit. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

The hardest thing to do as a parent

14 Jun, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

It can be so easy - no matter how many parenting books you've read - to make this mistake.

Some people don't need drugs or alcohol at all to say inappropriate things. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Roseanne: Can medication make you a racist? No.

7 Jun, 2018 8:28am
3 minutes to read

Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald on whether drugs, and alcohol, make us 'do bad things'.

We all need a helping hand to see these patterns, these repetitions, that are beyond just needing to change our automatic thoughts, Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Signs you need to see a therapist

31 May, 2018 8:24am
3 minutes to read

Do you find minor things making you upset or angry? Here's what might really be going on.

This is the fettered underbelly of stigma and prejudice in this country, writes Kyle MacDonald. Photo / NZ Herald, Greg Bowker

NEW ZEALAND

Human Rights complaint over David Seymour's letter

25 May, 2018 8:33am
3 minutes to read

Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald on why he's made a complaint about Seymour's Epsom letter.

When experienced chronically, stress can make us sick, with some studies suggesting that chronic stress is as bad for our physical health as smoking five cigarettes a day. Image / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

The people most impacted by stress at work

17 May, 2018 8:48am
4 minutes to read

Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald on who is most likely to suffer from stress at work.

Many people will try to tell you that cannabis isn't addictive. Photo / Supplied

LIFESTYLE

Kyle MacDonald: What we're forgetting about cannabis

11 May, 2018 7:57am
3 minutes to read

Like any process that causes pleasure or relieves pain, cannabis can be addictive.

We need to start thinking about how people, men in this case, become so damaged they wish to subjugate and hate an entire gender. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

The growing concern with 'involuntary celibates'

3 May, 2018 12:44pm
3 minutes to read

Kyle MacDonald on the world of hate, misogyny, contradiction and male entitlement.

There is a danger in comparing yourself to other people and their success. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Why you should compare yourself to others

27 Apr, 2018 9:37am
3 minutes to read

Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald on why the old adage needs a review.

Free speech isn't a get out of jail free card to say harmful things. Photo / Supplied

LIFESTYLE

Why Israel Folau's gay comment is hate speech

12 Apr, 2018 7:30am
4 minutes to read

Comment: Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald on why deeming it 'free speech' is incorrect.

We've become so accustomed to the genre of reality TV, of ordinary people putting themselves through some trial for our entertainment, that we rarely question it. Photo / Supplied

LIFESTYLE

MAFS: Should people's suffering be entertainment?

5 Apr, 2018 8:08am
4 minutes to read

Emerging concerns among psychologists that reality TV shows put people's lives at risk.

Psychologically, the approach confuses the world of imaginative play with the real world in a way that is dangerous and unnecessary. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

It's dangerous to teach kids about gun safety

29 Mar, 2018 8:36am
3 minutes to read

Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald on why he's against gun education for kids.

Sometimes accepting change can be hard. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Kyle MacDonald: Why you can't accept change

23 Mar, 2018 11:56am
3 minutes to read

Comment: Why accepting or tolerating a different point of view is deeply challenging.

LIFESTYLE

How to manage your inner critic

15 Mar, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

Kyle MacDonald discusses what fuels your inner critic and how to cultivate a positive one.

I've realised the truth is more likely to be driven by the pursuit of money than some grand conspiracy. Image / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Everything you know about depression is wrong

8 Mar, 2018 7:00am
4 minutes to read

Kyle MacDonald on where the real truth about depression is found.

Kyle Macdonald believes there is more than head injuries to worry about in rugby. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

The big issue with rugby everybody ignores

28 Feb, 2018 4:21pm
4 minutes to read

Kyle MacDonald believes rugby players are at risk of far more than just a concussion.

A teddy bear at a makeshift memorial in front of Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Florida.

LIFESTYLE

How many mass shooters have mental health issues?

22 Feb, 2018 8:30am
3 minutes to read

Kyle MacDonald asks: Are the individuals who carry out these deeds mad, or just bad?

Is the way you think and feel unique, odd or unusual? Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Why does everyone else seem to handle life so well?

15 Feb, 2018 8:03am
3 minutes to read

Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald explains why we feel this way.

Kyle MacDonald believes we should be asking victims how we can help them feel more powerful. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

How to stop being a victim

8 Feb, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

Kyle MacDonald: We should be asking victims how we can help them feel more powerful.

Kyle MacDonald believes New Zealand needs to take a step toward compassionate treatment.

LIFESTYLE

Why cannabis is a gateway drug in the right direction

1 Feb, 2018 8:28am
3 minutes to read

Kyle MacDonald on why New Zealand needs to take a step toward compassionate treatment.

We all rely on each other: people need people. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Does New Zealand need a Minister for Loneliness?

25 Jan, 2018 3:24pm
3 minutes to read

Does New Zealand need to follow the UK and appoint a "Minister for Loneliness"?