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Home / Travel

Flying from Newark, New York to Houston, Texas with United Airlines

By Helen van Berkel
NZ Herald·
16 Nov, 2018 01:41 AM2 mins to read

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Cameron Diaz. Photo / Supplied

Cameron Diaz. Photo / Supplied

Helen van Berkel flies on United Flight 2044, Newark, New York to Houston, Texas.

The airport experience: No Wi-Fi and the toilets were distressingly far and few between. iPads and charging points were provided.

The plane: B777-200

On time: "We are having technical difficulties — fingers crossed." Not great words to hear from the pilot. Please have a plan that involves more than crossing fingers. Turns out they did: the "stuck chair" was fixed and we were nearly an hour late leaving.

Taking off: Boarding was chaos. Seats had been double-booked, someone refused to move, someone else was angry about the baby, the attendants lost patience. And we hadn't even left yet.

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Fellow passengers: More than the usual complement of idiots. When the attendants say "sit down", sit the f*** down — how Idiot Two Rows Back even managed to stand as that thrust of power headed to the engines is a mystery. Behind me sat a pair of kvetching foul-mothed New Yorkers who spent most of the flight demanding "noxious humans" to control their bodily functions (presumably directed at the baby) and the rest quarrelling nasally among themselves.

Food: A small bag of mini pretzels and juice served without a smile.

Entertainment: A good selection of more than 300 movies. Cameron Diaz playing the usual somewhat ditzy unlucky-in-love character Cameron Diaz plays kept me mildly entertained. Until the system crashed. Twice. And we hadn't even left yet. Then the flight information graphic inexplicably turned to Spanish.

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The toilets: Probably the high point of the plane: nicely scented, clean and well-stocked.

Would I fly this again? If I could sit in the toilet, maybe.

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