Reading’s great fun as long as it’s Behind Bars

One morning in the early 1970s, an officious little officer from the Featherston Country Council rapped on the doors of the Royal Hotel.
The knock was answered by proprietor Elaine Garbett, whose greeting and pleasantries failed to placate the bothered bureaucrat.
Instead the man raised himself up to his full height of 5ft 3in, and sternly declared: "It is my duty as a litter warden of the Featherston Country to inform you that there is a dead goat on your front steps."
He advised Mrs Garbett that as the corpse, which by this stage had attracted a mass of flies, was on her property it was her responsibility to remove it.
But just as Mrs Garbett's husband David began arguing with the council officer, the dead goat gracefully slid down the steps behind them and on to the council-owned footpaths.
"Well, it's your responsibility now," Mr Garret said.
That yarn and more have been chronicled in Mrs Garbett's wittily titled new book Behind Bars, which recounts her years as a publican in Featherston.
Mr Garbett had been a builder by trade, but decided to try his hand at running a dairy when business got tough.
Then in 1972 they opted to go in another direction.
"For some reason he thought he would like to try the pub game," Mrs Garbett said.
"Previously he had always been on the other side of the bar."
They took over Featherston's Royal Hotel, and although the town was a busy one at the time, the change was a culture shock to both of them.
"He was used to working outdoors in all weather. It took quite a bit of getting used to the public always being right - which of course they have to be," she said.
The book recounts stories of many of the memorable characters around in Featherston at that time, such as Peggy, the hotel cook.
"Peggy would serve the guests their morning cup of tea and made sure that there was no chance of anyone going back to sleep and delaying the serving of breakfast. She had a good strong voice and handled the job with no problem.
"She had a very large brass gong which she would bring into action if there was no sound coming from the bedrooms - off she'd go, banging it with all her might. It wasn't long before the feet would be heard hitting the floor. Those were the days when breakfast was on from 8am to 9am and that was that."
The couple left Featherston in 1977, before running another pub in Patea, South Taranaki.
Now retired and living in the Hutt Valley, Mrs Garbett said her family had all been very supportive and enthusiastic about her new venture as an author.
The book also serves as a record for her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren to enjoy in years to come.
She was taken aback by Featherston when she visited recently.
"It was a busy town when we were there. A lot of the properties are looking just lovely. It's gone ahead quite nicely."
*Behind Bars can be bought through the website www.nzbookshop.co.nz or by phoning First Edition Publishers on (04) 586 1973.