On the surface, Matty Paparoa's future looked bright. But the darkness was growing. Made with funding from NZ On Air. Video / Useful Media
In the gang world he was 'Loko', then rapper 'KD Lok' once he got out of jail. But something was always missing for Matty Paparoa. For the first time he tells his story in LOKO, a seven-part video series by Useful Media and the NZ Herald, made with the supportof NZ On Air. Episode 3 - Breaking Points.
Matty Paparoa got out of jail in his early 20s and immediately made an impact on the local hip-hop scene, performing as KD Lok.
He joined the gang he'd been associating with for years and was signed with Affiliated Records. He recorded an album, Product of a Dying Breed, and toured alongside international acts like Snoop Dogg, the Ying Yang Twins and Immortal Technique.
When he found his criminal past made him ineligible for any funding, he bankrolled his own music videos with money from the street. He performed at the New Zealand Music Awards and Australian Hip Hop Summit, and found a strong inroad into Los Angeles through a collaboration with Mexican rapper Kiki Smooth.
After he suffered a mental breakdown, Matty Paparoa decided to leave gang life. Photo / Vanessa Patea
KD Lok was on the rise. At the same time, he was finding success in the criminal world, rising in the ranks of the gang. Behind the scenes he was trying to keep a household and raise a family. For a few years it worked - but it would only be a matter of time before the combined pressures of music, gang life and family reached breaking point.
His partner was pregnant and the baby was diagnosed with fetal alcohol syndrome. She made the decision to terminate and, when Matty found out, he went to the hospital and demanded to take the body home for a Māori burial.
When some of his fellow gang members walked into his kitchen and found Matty sitting with the dead baby, they called for help.
Matty was hospitalised after suffering a mental breakdown. He spent two weeks in isolation in Waitākere Hospital, where he was diagnosed with a list of disorders, including multiple personality disorder.
When he was released, he made a decision to leave the gang. It was not an easy path to choose. Severe punishments can be meted out to those who attempt to leave. Matty fled to Titirangi village to escape, away from the pressures of gang life.
After years of hiding out, Matty finally reconnected with some of the people from his past. His brother Nomad visited him regularly, making the journey from the suburbs of South Auckland to the Titirangi bush where he camped out, just to be able to see Matty.
Renee, one of the crew of teenagers he used to party with, tracked him down after years of searching. It was Renee's crew who introduced Matty to the gang, when it all seemed like fun and games.
Some 30 years later, Matty and Renee had grown from the hard lessons they learnt in the criminal world - and both made a decision to leave that world behind them.
