SINGLE women in Wairarapa are apparently a "bit on the scared side" and quite conservative when it comes to internet dating according to Wairarapa author Allen Kirk.
Kirk, who's been internet dating for between two to three years had his first book ? The Diary of a Dating Site Bachelor ?
published this year.
Despite online dating rapidly becoming big business in New Zealand, Kirk said his research found that for some reason women in Wairarapa were dragging their feet online with only about 500 represented on dating sites.
Kirk did admit that some of his internet dates came from Wairarapa but wouldn't be drawn on what they were like, how many, and whether any became a more permanent fixture.
He said because Wairarapa had a "low density" of people compared to Wellington or Manawatu, women here were not used to "differentiating" unlike those in the cities.
"It's like being at a big party, ? the crowded room ? they have forgotten how to "work" the room, like how you move around at a party, talking to people, and if you don't like someone you move on and try elsewhere.
"That's just what it's like dating online," he said.
"And of course you have to be careful just as you do dating in the more traditional ways but there are tools on the internet that can see you safe while still allowing you to be a bit adventurous."
Kirk said there were good reasons why women in other regions were going online to date with more gusto.
They were finding that internet dating solved some of the problems of the traditional scene, where it was better than trying to meet men at pubs where you couldn't hear what was being said because of the noise of the live band.
"Then even if your drink isn't spiked, someone is likely to barf over you.
"It's where if you do find someone who's nice, he's just as likely to say at the end of the evening that he doesn't drink and drive, so about parking up somewhere?"
All good reasons, Kirk said why the latest studies showed that two out of five single women use some form of online dating service.
He said dating sites also allowed the women (or indeed men) to be very specific about the sort of person they were looking for ? with some even listing a person's salary range.
"They don't, of course, tell you how much is paid in child support."
But Kirk said that amount of detail could lead many women into focusing their search too tightly and becoming so intent on "finding Mr Perfect with the exact features they are looking for, like the large disposable income, his sensitivity and generosity that they forget the fun they can have just looking".
Then we come to the biggie of whether or not to include a photo in your application and research showed that just 1 per cent of the dating population in New Zealand admitted they had "less-than-average" looks and only a third posted a photograph of themselves.
Kirk said no photograph is also quite common on the alternative sites where people are advertising for a sexual partner.
Finding love is not easy and he said less than 10 per cent actually find a real romance in the first year of being on a dating site, but despite the drawbacks, internet dating was a good way to make friends and in Wairarapa he had found it very easy to meet people.
New Zealand has two main sites that can each have up to 10,000 people online at any one time, and several smaller sites.
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