"She is not a bad person and would probably be mortified to know how distracting she is." File photo / Thinkstock
Washington Post advice columnist Karla L. Miller answers a reader’s workplace dilemma.
Reader: How do you deal with a co–worker who’s extremely distracting, all day, every day? I’m not talking about “normal” office noise and chatter – that’s something we all can deal with. This particular person speaks on the phone and to others in the office very loudly. She has many personal calls throughout the day. She has had a persistent cough for over a year. And she has a nervous laugh, after almost everything she says, that’s like nails on a chalkboard.
She is not a bad person and would probably be mortified to know how distracting she is. But it’s gotten to the point where it’s affecting my ability to do my job. Moving further away from her is not an option. We’re required to be in the office five days a week, so there’s no relief.
I don’t want to get her in trouble, but I also need to be able to do my job without the constant distraction. We work in an office setting that requires a significant amount of concentration and attention to detail. I’m not alone in my thoughts about the distractions – others in the office have hinted at feeling the same as I do.
Karla: Remaining collegial in cramped quarters with noisy neighbours has been a challenge for workers since workplaces had clay walls and thatched roofs. Even with modern conveniences like air conditioning and indoor plumbing, we’ve managed to make it even harder for office workers to coexist thanks to in-office mandates and open-plan layouts.
It’s true that technological solutions for muffling the cube-land cacophony, such as noise-cancelling headphones, in-ear monitors and white-noise machines, are available at increasingly attainable price points. Still, sometimes you have to resort to good old-fashioned direct communication – in person or via digital messaging, as warmly as you can manage, as often as you need to.
“I’m so sorry, could you talk a little softer?”
“I’m not trying to eavesdrop, but you should know I can hear some of your personal details.”
If you and she were solid friends with a shared sense of humour, I might suggest making your point by randomly chiming in with unsolicited advice or comments on overheard conversations. But for a professional acquaintance you’re trying not to offend, the straight approach is best.
You’re probably right that she would be mortified to know she’s being a nuisance. And if her loudness is due to a hearing impairment, there may not be much she can do about it. But imagine how much more mortifying it would be for her when, after months of seething, someone finally snaps and makes clear how long she’s been unwittingly driving everyone up the wall.
By contrast, if you address the annoyance early on, and follow up with repeated low-key reminders, you might be able to keep frustration from building to that point and give her a chance to adjust her behaviour – if she’s open to and capable of changing. Ideally, it will reach the point where she senses you lifting an eyebrow from the other side of the cubicle wall and either lowers her voice automatically or takes her call to a private location.
Her habitual laughing and coughing are no doubt maddening, but they sound like uncontrollable symptoms of a physical condition or wiring quirk that you’re not really in a position to address. If you’re on friendly terms, a concerned query – “You’ve had that cough for some time now. Is everything okay?” – might inspire her to consult a doctor. Sometimes people need a nudge to realise that something they’ve just been suffering through – whether it’s a cough or fatigue or a depressive mood – has gone on longer than is healthy.
Finally, there’s the matter of her apparently spending extended portions of her workday on personal calls – but that’s her supervisor’s concern, not yours. Some might argue that she’s essentially stealing time from the company and everyone in it, and so you have a right to complain. But unless her attention to personal matters is causing a bottleneck that directly affects your productivity, my advice is to leave it alone. Making yourself the keeper of other people’s time simply invites scrutiny of how you spend yours.
And if, despite everyone’s best efforts, it reaches a point where you simply can’t get work done in the office, it’s time to appeal to management for an accommodation, such as quiet rooms or permission to work remotely on occasion. You don’t need to single out your noisy neighbour as the reason the office environment makes it hard for you to concentrate – and if you and enough colleagues make the same complaints, management may be forced to come up with solutions that benefit everyone.