The Ex-Files with Jeremy Sutton: Can I stop my ex taking our son to the World Cup in Doha?

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My ex-husband told me that he has booked a trip for him and our eldest son to travel to Doha for the Fifa World Cup in late November.

He did not consult me about this.

They will be gone for three weeks and will return on a very late Sunday flight, despite my son having school the next morning.

I am incredibly worried about my son catching Covid-19 while travelling or attending the game. It is the first time my son has been on such a long flight. My ex-husband refuses to wear a mask, and I worry that this attitude will influence my son.

My son's school camp is also held on one of the three weeks, and I feel like that would've been very beneficial for him.

A: Whether your son travels to Doha is a guardianship issue to be decided between both of you, as his parents. The top priority in any guardianship decision is the child's best interests.

A challenge of co-parenting is that you may not agree with your ex-husband about what is in your children's best interests.

Open communication

Start by having a discussion with your ex-husband about why you are concerned about your son travelling to Doha. This discussion may highlight underlying concerns that the other parent has not considered.

You are entitled to be concerned about your son travelling across the world at any time, but Covid-19 has raised additional issues, such as the risk to his health. Has your son been vaccinated?

Mediation

If neither of you are willing to compromise, you may need to involve an independent third party to determine what is best for your son. You could attend a mediation with your ex-husband. Mediation can be formal or informal.

An informal mediation would involve a trusted friend or family member.

If you would prefer to attend a formal mediation, there are a number of Family Dispute Resolution services available. I recommend FairWay Resolution or the FDR Centre.

It is also important that your child has a voice in such a dispute. If he is young or has difficulties with communication, his views can be expressed through a third party, such as a counsellor or psychologist.

The last resort: Court orders

As a last resort, you could apply for an order to prevent the removal of your son from leaving New Zealand.

You could also apply to the Family Court for an Order to Settle a Dispute between Guardians. In most scenarios, you should attempt family dispute resolution before applying to the Court.

The welfare and best interests of your son will be the most important factor when the Family Court makes its decision.

Conditions and variations

The Court may allow your ex-husband to take your son on the trip but impose conditions, such as wearing a mask when appropriate.

You could seek to speak to your son every day while he is away. You might consider that three weeks is too long for an eight-year-old, and negotiate a shorter timeframe for the trip.

I would encourage you to try to settle your dispute without having to go through family lawyers or the Family Court.

It is important that you keep your child away from the dispute as much as possible, and resolve it between adults.

Conclusion

I would encourage you to try to settle your dispute without having to go through family lawyers or the Family Court. It is important that you keep your child away from the dispute as much as possible and resolve it between adults.

- Jeremy Sutton is a senior family lawyer, specialising in divorce cases where there are significant assets, including family trusts and complex business structures.