“How was the trip” is flawed in the way many questions we ask one another are flawed; it’s overwhelmingly broad.
If we want a detailed answer to a question, we know ‘open’ is better than ‘closed’. So, it’s better to ask ‘how was your trip’ instead of ‘was the trip good?’. The trouble is, there is such a thing as too open.
A week-long trip will involve more than 100 waking hours of novel, vivid experiences that can sit anywhere on the spectrum between Instagram-perfection and reality TV disaster. So, when asked ‘how it was’, it’s easy to gather it up into a succinct but woefully inadequate one-liner.
“Oh yeah, it was amazing,” we say. “The food was incredible”.
Now, this isn’t to hate on the question-asker. Having someone be curious about a trip is an absolute gift; one that allows us to enjoy one of the most underrated parts of a trip, reminiscing. From comical mistakes and lucky misses to quirky characters and unexpected experiences, it’s relived as we retell.
However, we don’t often get to these rich little details with such a broad-brush inquiry.
On the surface, the question may seem generous, allowing the traveller to focus on whatever they want to talk about. But honestly, the cookie-cutter question often feels lazy, placing the burden of conversation entirely on the traveller’s (jetlagged) shoulders.
Recently, after a fascinating five-day trip to Japan, I replied to the trusty “how was your trip” with a lighthearted “oh, where to begin!”.
If someone asked further about the flight, the unspoken rules, the onsen, or the world-class hotels, I would launch into the stories. Not out of reluctance or petulance but because, quite simply, I only want to tell my stories to those who really want to know. Plus, its much easier to respond with entertaining detail to a slightly pointier question, than offer a detailed account of everything I can think of.
So, let’s ask better questions of our friends, family and colleagues.
Ask them about their favourite meal or a memorable person they met, what was different to expectation and a near disaster they can laugh about. Ask if there are any spots they would return to and what places they wish they skipped, the advice they would tell future visitors and what they learned about themselves or their travel partner.
Get them talking about a moment they were out of their comfort zone or when things were lost in translation, an interesting fact they learned about the food/culture/history and whether they bought any souvenirs (and whether they were sustainable).
And watch your conversation start to resemble something as vibrant and exciting as a journey far away.
