A weekly ode to the joys of moaning about your holiday, by Tim Roxborogh.

The woman who refused to take off her sandals in the Fijian village

Socks with sandals are alarming at the best of times. I've never questioned a socks-n-sandals proponent to their face and I'm all the worse for it. It would be a fascinating insight into a confused, possibly brilliant mind. And I'm sorry to say I recently missed another golden opportunity to learn about this mysterious species of human.

This is especially disappointing because this was a unique sub-species of the socks-n-sandals homo sapien: one

When I disappointed those Thai kids at the orphanage