Come on, Fozzie, who do you think you are kidding with the "doesn't feel right" comment about former All Blacks halfback Tawera Kerr-Barlow wanting to play for Australia, the land of his birth?
If you asked everybody walking past New Zealand Rugby headquarters in Wellington, asking whichinternational rugby team has benefitted most from players born elsewhere, approximately 99.99 per cent would answer: "The All Blacks".
New Zealand is often accused of being an arrogant rugby nation, mostly to do with fans' belief that the All Blacks can't possibly lose and, if they do, there was something wrong with something or someone.
In this particular sphere – players born elsewhere – we used to cop it a lot more for importing Pasifika players (even if it wasn't the case). That has descended to a low moan these days after northern hemisphere teams started fielding their own born-elsewhere players, many from the Pacific Islands
But, really, the notion that Kerr-Barlow's desire to play international rugby again is somehow misplaced - when he was last an All Black in 2017 - is, well, arrogance.
To give Ian Foster his due, what he said should be conveyed in context. He was asked the question – he didn't volunteer his feelings – saying: "It's just a consequence of World Rugby's eligibility laws isn't it? Kind of doesn't feel right to me but rules are rules and he's entitled.
"All I know is the beauty of what he brought into the All Blacks' camp. He's a quality person and quality rugby player. There's no judgement on that decision. What I remember is the influence he had in our environment, which was fantastic. So I guess to think of that going somewhere else feels a bit funny but, like I said, rules are rules and that's the way the game is going."
All Blacks coach Ian Foster (R) says the idea of Tawera Kerr-Barlow (L) playing for Australia doesn't feel right. Photos / Photosport
I'd hazard a guess that, over the years, coaches and fans from Fiji, Samoa and Tonga have felt "a bit funny" about homegrown talent heading off to New Zealand, with a small percentage becoming All Blacks.
Some years back, the Herald did an exhaustive data probe into the birthplaces of every All Black since the beginning. They found that, out of the 1133 All Blacks capped up until 2014, 83 were born offshore – 32 in the Pacific Islands, 22 from Australia and the others from Scotland (10), England (8) and Ireland (4). India (3), South Africa (2), Hong Kong (1) and Singapore (1) all figure too, most from long ago.
So, up until 2014, seven per cent of All Blacks were born elsewhere; hardly a staggering proportion. Since 2014, however, there have been 72 new All Blacks, 16 of whom were born overseas. That's 22 per cent – a big increase.
Of that lot, 12 were from the Pacific Islands, three from Australia and one (Finlay Christie) born in Scotland. Of even more interest is the fact that Foster's squad contains 12 of those 16 players.
They include three props – Ethan de Groot, Tyrel Lomax and Aidan Ross — all born in Australia. They've got bigger things on their minds, but you wonder what they thought about the boss' comments concerning Kerr-Barlow.
Foster did have a 13th overseas-born player in his squad but Pita Gus Sowakula was dropped. He was born in Fiji but now, because he has played for the All Blacks, he cannot play for Fiji until he has served a three-year stand-down. He'll be 30 by then.
Wonder if Foster feels a bit funny about that too? The new eligibility rules are principally designed to help Pasifika players no longer required by Tier 1 countries – but three years will still feel like an ice age to Sowakula if he is never to don the All Black jersey again, even if he heads overseas to play club rugby until his three years is up.
One can only hope that Pita Gus Sowakula's career is not hung out to dry by All Blacks selectors. Photo / Photosport
Foster's comments stem from the fact the eligibility law change was not meant to see players moving between Tier 1 countries. But they still sound weirdly entitled when Foster's own squad is heavily populated by players born in another country – Nepo Laulala, Ofa Tu'ungafasi, Shannon Frizell, Lomax, Ross, Sevu Reece, Christie, de Groot, Samisoni Taukei'aho, Leicester Fainga'anuku, Roger Tuivasa-Sheck and Folau Fakatava.
It's also fair to say that New Zealand has benefitted more from transtasman rugby traffic than Australia; there have now been 25 Australian-born All Blacks. Older fans may remember Des Connor – the high-kicking, long-passing halfback of the 1960s, who played 12 tests for Australia before emigrating to New Zealand, where he famously played for the All Blacks in a further 12 tests.
When he was done here, Connor returned to the land of his birth to coach, taking charge of the 1968 Wallabies – a much weaker rugby country then than in recent years. He almost upset the mighty All Blacks in one test, during which he invented the short lineout.
Seems to me both countries benefitted. If this tale has a moral, it is that rugby coaches should probably, when asked about eligibility issues, just mumble something about being happy to see professional players turn out for whoever they are legally able to.
Otherwise, it just sounds like a pot calling a kettle a certain colour.
