Cricket: Respect is due

Kyle Mills

Kyle Mills has run the full gamut of emotions in international sport. In his sporadic career he has been a couple of lusty blows short of a hero, one ill-advised delivery away from ignominy.

He's been everyman and nearlyman and sometimes, if you believe his critics, nothingman.

He, more than any Black Cap, can offer an insight into the flip side of playing international cricket, with his selection rarely getting universal acceptance.

Likewise, he takes nothing for granted.

It must be hard to play cricket - a game broken up into thousands of mini-dramas, each having the potential to play a pivotal part in the result - when you know your next mistake could be your last.

"Absolutely," Mills agrees. "Every chance I get to play for New Zealand now, I view it as my last game.

"But in saying that, being 12th man on so many tours and so many games at home hardens you and makes you appreciate the opportunities you get."

Mills has needed to be hard. But he'll tell you thick skin doesn't develop overnight.

"Criticism is tough to take," Mills says, "but as you grow as a player and having been around for a few years now, I've learned how to deal with it."

'It', in this case, is the media. Mills has felt its sharp edge. Take this excerpt from a column that appeared on cricinfo.com, a Wisden-run website read by millions of cricket followers: "We all remember the kid who sat in the front row at school, giving the right answers and always happy to help teacher. The big question asked in New Zealand ... is whether there's any difference between teacher's pet and Kyle Mills?"

Ouch.

"I went through a period there of not reading any media at all; being very 'anti' it.

"I've learnt now to take it on the chin and respect other's opinions.

"But when you have family members, like your grandmother, reading articles about how useless you are, it's pretty tough for them - more so than me."

Then there was the speculation over his action. Something which shocked Mills more than anything he'd read about himself.

"I played in five countries around the world and never heard a thing, then to come home to New Zealand and all of a sudden there's this complete outburst. For your own countrymen to get stuck into you was a pretty disheartening experience. But again, it hardened me up."

It's a salutary reminder that the five-star hotels and international travel doesn't buffer you from the normal range of human emotions.

"Cricket's such a unique game, you're always under pressure no matter what situation you're in. Last year I was bowling at the death and that was a huge pressure environment for me to be in."

Well, seeing as he mentioned it.

Last season, when Pakistan and South Africa toured, Mills received some potentially career-destroying stick from Abdul Razzaq and Shaun Pollock in particular, almost losing games from winning positions on three occasions.

It became almost macabre: Mills clambers out of the trenches only to go down in a hail of blazing bats.

When the question was asked of John Bracewell, quite reasonably, as to why Mills kept getting put forward like a human shield, he said it was simply because he "keeps putting his hand up".

Which may actually say more about Mills' resilience than it does tactical acumen.

"I'm thankful I've gone through that," Mills says, and you almost believe him.

"I'm pleased it has happened; it has made me a better bowler and a wiser head."

It's one of the things that people have to consider, Mills says, when they begin to compare the state of New Zealand cricket to Australia and England. Adam Gilchrist had eight years of first-class cricket before he played for Australia.

Talented players in New Zealand are often thrust into the test team before they know what works best for them; they're learning in the hardest environment of them all.

It's no surprise Mills is still learning to bowl. He is almost a Mark Richardson story in reverse.

"I only started bowling when I was about 16 or 17," Mills confesses. "I always considered myself a batsman but my bowling took over when I got into the New Zealand Youth team and my early years with Auckland. " So how exactly does a batsman - he has a first-class century - end up bowling at the death for the Black Caps?

"Dayle Hadlee identified it and got me down to Christchurch and guys like Rowan Armour at my club [Howick Pakuranga] influenced me.

"I just didn't take bowling seriously. I was a wicketkeeper for the Auckland under-14 team. Because I always played with older kids, I was a lot shorter so I got sidetracked into wicketkeeping."

Then he grew. And learned to bowl. And suddenly "I found myself in the Auckland team as a bowler who could bat a bit".

Then in the New Zealand team as a maligned bowler, waiting for a chance to show what he could do with the bat.

Until Sydney 2004.

"It's instilled a bit of belief in what I'm capable of doing at that level," Mills said.

"Being placed in that situation at Sydney when there were no consequences [to failing], I just went out there and played the way I would normally play and realised that I could do it.

"The next step is to be able to do it at that level when the pressure's on and the team really needs it."

It's worth reliving that moment one more time ...

New Zealand are 166-8 chasing 262 to win the series and Mills strides out to join Daniel Vettori for the last rites as Chris Harris won't bat after dislocating his shoulder. Mills hits four consecutive balls he faces for six; Harris comes out to bat, effectively with one arm; New Zealand fall, somewhat heroically, 17 runs short with Mills left undefeated on 44.

"After the sixes came about we needed one run a ball for the last 30 balls, the eyes lit up and Dan said: 'We should be right in here'.

"When I first went out to bat Chris wasn't going to come out, but seeing as we got so close the message came out that he was strapping the pads on.

"It was certainly something special to see him come out with a busted shoulder. You could tell he was in a lot of pain and a lot of discomfort. I admire him for that - long live the Harry legend."

Mills is no doubt acutely aware that he has quite a way to go before his own legend is writ large. But if his performance in Sydney has achieved one thing, it has certainly given Mills some credibility.

For now, baby steps will do.