Don't panic - why the All Blacks Rugby World Cup tilt will survive the Wellington shock waves

Get out of my way...how could anyone lose with this bloke? Photo / Brett Phibbs

Keep as calm as you can All Black fans and carry on.

As a shaken nation deals with a rare rugby defeat, we reveal why the World Cup is still in safe hands.

1) Brodie Retallick will be back (fingers crossed) for the tournament in Japan.

2) The last time South Africa went anywhere near Japan in a World Cup, they lost.

3) Australia are coached by Michael Cheika. This rules them out of contention. We must try every trick in the book to keep Cheika in charge.

4) Jordie Barrett will have had a long time to think about quick lineouts.

5) Richie Mo'unga will be the first five-eighths (this reason was supplied by Canterbury...we've not listed their other reason because Dan Carter has retired from tests)

6) A Polynesian rat with psychic tendencies named Don the Kiore has predicted New Zealand will win the final.

7) Ireland have been written off by Don the Kiore

8) A loss this year will do the All Blacks good - they were getting too cocky. And if they lose again, two losses will do them good. And if they lose a third game...try not to panic, although this may be difficult.

9) England are not travelling well, even at home.

10) The figures don't lie...we won our first World Cup under Prime Minister David Lange, who was born in 1942. We won two more under John Key who was born in 1961. And guess when Jacinda Ardern was born. You got it...1980. (message to floating voters...this means we are due to win three World Cups under Ardern).

11) Brodie Retallick will emerge as a drop goal expert - he can do everything else.

12) Desperation...the future of This Great Nation depends upon winning the World Cup, whereas other countries play rugby for fun.

13) Wayne Barnes will not want to retire controversially.