Why transgender men attract less attention than women - Rhi’s story

TransGenerations, an eight-part web series, tells the stories of transgender Kiwis from their late 70s to early 20s, documenting the history of trans experience in New Zealand and dispelling stereotypes about who trans people are. In episode four, host Brady Peeti meets Rhion, a 34-year-old trans man who is creating safe spaces for trans people.

Rhion —Rhi for short — was born to a loving family in England. There was no definite experience when the lights turned on for his trans identity. It was a series of micro-moments over 25 years. One of those first moments was in ballet when, as a tall child, he often played the male role, relishing in the masculinity of a character.

Rhi is a child of the 90s and early 2000s. It was an era when trans people still had very little visibility to the general public. As Rhi wrestled with the unwelcomed and feminising hormones and body changes of puberty, it only brought deep sadness and confusion.

Rhi left behind his beloved life of dance. His mental health became a struggle even with mood-stabilising medications.

It wasn’t until his mid-20s that Rhi found the drive to reclaim his health and to claim his trans identity for the first time. He did this despite a psychologist warning him that trans people often lead lives of loneliness.

He lost weight and put on muscle with the help of a personal trainer. He cut his hair. He revelled in masculine clothes and experimented with pronouns. And he began dance classes again.

All of this culminated with his career in social work where he saw a need to create safe places for trans people within the exercise and movement world. He leads the Joyful Movement project, a research initiative that looks at the barriers trans people face in accessing sports, exercise and movement spaces.

One of Rhi’s goals is to give trans youth alternatives to nightlife and drug use. Generations of trans people have typically turned to these two options due to scant pathways to community and recreation.

He is making space in the literacy world, too, as a board member of the Same Same But Different LGBTIQ+ Readers and Writers Festival. The annual event celebrates the creativity and talent of the LGBTIQ+ community.

Now, several years after he started his transition, Rhi knows he can pass as a cis man, but that isn’t necessarily his goal.

“I could walk down to the dairy and for the most part if I drop my voice and square my shoulders... they’re going to read me as an average dude, that’s walking around my neighbourhood. There’s nothing visibly trans about me.”

On the inside, though, it’s different. His identity is firmly as a trans man.

“I feel trans all over,” he said, “down to my fingertips.”

• TransGenerations is made with the support of NZ On Air. To follow the series, see nzherald.co.nz/transgenerations