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Home / New Zealand

Steve Braunias: The secret diary of the bad weather

Steve Braunias
By Steve Braunias
Senior Writer·NZ Herald·
22 Jul, 2022 05:00 PM3 mins to read

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"You're never to old to enjoy splashing in puddles." Photo / Michael Craig

"You're never to old to enjoy splashing in puddles." Photo / Michael Craig

Steve Braunias
Opinion by Steve Braunias
Steve Braunias writes for the Listener and Newsroom.
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OPINION

Jacinda Ardern

Let me be perfectly clear about the spell of bad weather we've been having. It's ever so much fun splashing in puddles! But I advise wearing gumboots. Bare feet can land you in all sorts of trouble, and we don't want that, do we?

I discussed this just the other day with our Health Minister.

I said to him, "Andy," I said, "Andy, what is the Health Department's policy on splashing in puddles? I'm sure you're on top of it!"

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And do you know what he said? He scowled, and said, "Prime Minister," he said, "Prime Minister, what the hell are you on about?"

So I said to him, "Andrew," I said, "Andrew, would you rather talk about the recent Women in Medicine Charitable Trust survey of more than 900 doctors, which reveals profound distress over widespread understaffing and under-resourcing and that they are warning the Government there is a risk of a catastrophic collapse of the healthcare workforce?"

And do you know what he said? He laughed merrily, and said, " Jacinda," he said, "Jacinda, I think you're never too old to enjoy splashing in puddles!"

And away we went in our gumboots!

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Christopher Luxon

Okay, so let's be honest about the bad weather we've been having. It's been raining cats and dogs. That's not good. But why complain about it? What's wrong with Kiwis? Since when did we get so soft? God almighty. Honestly, sometimes Kiwis just make me want to scream. Kiwis just make me want to take them outside and give them a hiding they won't forget. Kiwis make me sick sometimes.

So what it's been a bit wet and windy, Who cares? "Oh dear me," moan the whiners and the losers. "Best stay indoors." Dear God. What a bunch of softies Kiwis have become! Soft in the head, soft in spirit, soft all over – Leo Molloy has something to say about that, doesn't he?

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Mind you, he can be quite divisive, can't he? I'm more of a crowd-pleaser.

"It's been raining cats and dogs. That's not good. But why complain about it?" Photo / Michael Craig
"It's been raining cats and dogs. That's not good. But why complain about it?" Photo / Michael Craig

James Shaw

What we need to understand about the bad weather we've been having is that sometimes a lot of rain means climate change and the need to act fast, decisively and even aggressively, and sometimes a lot of rain simply means it's been raining a lot.

I think that kind of perspective is something we need to bear in mind at the Green Party conference in Christchurch this weekend.

By all means, bring an umbrella, and it wouldn't hurt to pack a change of clothes. But a leadership challenge is a bit hasty. It's taking things too far. There's no need for it. I'm not the climate that needs changing.

Sure, some people in the party hate my guts, can't stand the sight of me and wish I would lie down and die, but I don't take it personally.

If we all just carry on the way we are, things will be fine.

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Ian Foster

Has it been raining?

I haven't noticed.

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