A policewoman sexually assaulted by her colleague says she fought through the hell of reliving the trauma in court to bring a rapist "hiding behind a blue uniform" to justice.
"I am forever labelled as the policewoman who was raped by the policeman," she said.
While the public will likely never know her name or see her face, due to laws designed to protect victims of sexual violence, she is being hailed by senior cops for her courage and strength.
Her attacker, the policeman, can be named. He is Auckland constable Jamie Foster.
Today he was sentenced to six years' imprisonment for indecently assaulting and sexually violating his female workmate at a Kerikeri motel during the early hours of February 5 last year.
Both officers were part of a group deployed to help police the 2019 Waitangi Day events at the Treaty Grounds.
"Little did I know that within 24 hours my whole world as I knew it would be shattered, shattered into a million pieces," the female officer explained at today's sentencing.
Those 24 hours resulted in a two-week trial last month, which ended with a jury finding the 29-year-old Foster guilty and a bright spotlight directed at the actions of other officers and police culture.
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The evening and night at the motel saw the group of police officers drinking heavily, including from a hollowed-out police baton, but the policewoman later found herself alone in a room with Foster.
She was groped, however, with the area overrun with cops the policewoman said she didn't want to make a scene.
"I just told him to pull his head in ... and left it at that," she told the jury.
However, it would become the first of two incidents.
"I gave you the chance of getting away with indecently assaulting me," the policewoman told Foster today.
The second incident was brazen and violent.
The policewoman described waking to pain in her dark motel room - Foster behind her.
But in what became a crucial piece of Crown evidence, the policewoman reached for her phone and started a video just moments after her rape.
It became a one minute and 50 recording of the interaction between her and Foster.
"I've denied you earlier, and I've woken up to you ******* me," she can be heard crying.
CCTV footage played to the jury also showed Foster "creeping" across the motel courtyard and slowly opening the unlocked ranch slider door of his victim's room.
Today, the policewoman said watching Foster's "disgusting actions" was like a horror movie.
"How was I ever going to be safe or protected?"
She said being dragged through the investigation, legal process and trial was hell.
"Not only the hell of the acts itself but of the process."
Repeating over and over what had happened to her, including across five days of testimony, was "soul destroying".
"Being continually questioned and feeling like I wasn't believed ... I had to fight on my own and prove so much when I shouldn't have had to," she said.
The court process felt like being assaulted all over again.
"Two days of being cross-examined, being called a liar and slut-shamed," she explained.
"I'd hate to think what it would be like as a civilian if this is what it is like as a police officer."
The policewoman also spoke of fairness after Foster lashed out and screamed in the courtroom after his verdicts: "It's ******* not fair!"
"Let's talk about fair, because somehow you still don't get it Jamie," she said. "It's not fair you sexually violated me."
During the case, Foster and his lawyer Paul Borich QC said any sexual contact with the policewoman was consensual and a "pre-arranged hook-up".
"It makes me sick, sick that you can even say we were kissing, rubbing and touching," she said of the claims. "This farcical narrative did not happen."
She said of Foster was "hiding behind a blue uniform".
"I have no idea how you were able to be a police officer.
"I trusted you, I thought you were a nice person, a colleague, a team member and workmate.
"This is not a story of lies, regret or a false complaint, this is a story of sexual assault."
Since that February night, the policewoman said she's not returned to work and now confronts her PTSD and depression.
"This is my life now, I no longer have my zest and passion for life."
Foster meanwhile, who has indicated an appeal, will be incarcerated for at least a third of his sentence before being eligible for parole.
"Confined to four walls, 'cause that's how it works and you know better than anyone that's how it works," the policewoman said.
"The truth won."
Where to get help:
• If it's an emergency and you feel that you or someone else is at risk, call 111.
• If you've ever experienced sexual assault or abuse and need to talk to someone call the confidential crisis helpline Safe to Talk on: 0800 044 334 or text 4334.
• Alternatively contact your local police station
• If you have been abused, remember it's not your fault.