Curate Church in Tauranga, where Milgate-Vassalini volunteered for a time as a leader, according to Judge Ingram. His parents, Joel and Katie Milgate, are the lead pastors. Photo / NZME
Curate Church in Tauranga, where Milgate-Vassalini volunteered for a time as a leader, according to Judge Ingram. His parents, Joel and Katie Milgate, are the lead pastors. Photo / NZME
Warning: This story details sexual offending and self-harm, and may be distressing to some readers.
Sitting in church and watching people congratulating Alessandro Milgate-Vassalini for leading the day's worship was too much for one teenage girl.
Instead of joining in and lavishing praise on the prominent Curate Church member thegirl, who had been keeping a secret, walked outside and broke down in tears.
Within the week, she finally opened up to her parents - describing how she had spiralled into a life of depression, anxiety and self-harm as a result of Milgate-Vassalini's actions nearly two years ago.
That courage to speak up led to an emotional court hearing on Thursday, where the now 19-year-old was sentenced to 12 months’ home detention after having two underage girls perform oral sex on him on separate occasions.
Judge Thomas Ingram said there were aggravating features of Milgate-Vassalini’s offending, including the vulnerability of the victims and the predatory nature of the offending.
“The breach of trust was considerable.”
Milgate-Vassalini is the son of Joel and Katie Milgate, the lead pastors of Curate Church, which is one of the larger congregations in Tauranga and also has a base in Auckland.
He volunteered as a leader at the church, was a member of the youth group and volunteered with the music teams. However, he was stood down from those roles after the allegations were made against him by two girls about separate incidents.
Both victims, who were each aged under 16 at the time, told the court of their spiral into depression and self-harm as a result of the offending by the man they described as a youth leader.
"It wasn't until recently I realised how severely unstable I was," one victim told the court. "The memories of the things that happened with Sandro stay with me every day.
Milgate-Vassalini was a youth leader at the church, where he held status and influence, Judge Ingram said. Photo / NZME
"I couldn't look at myself in the mirror because I felt dirty and ashamed."
Another victim spoke of how she felt she had been manipulated by Milgate-Vassalini.
"Sandro gave me the validation that I craved. All I wanted growing up was to feel I was wanted and needed. Sandro gave me that feeling whenever he wanted to do something sexual.
"I never understood that I was a naive girl that was taken advantage of. I always believed I would take my story to the grave, because I felt guilty and responsible."
Both victims knew Milgate-Vassalini through the church but the offending happened at a private residence on separate occasions.
Milgate-Vassalini was sentenced to 12 months' home detention for his offending, as well as 12 months of additional post-release conditions. Photo / NZME
While the summary of facts states the sex act was agreed upon in two instances, there could not have been consent due to the age of the victims. Both girls spoke in court about how they felt pressured and taken advantage of.
Milgate-Vassalini was initially granted interim name suppression, meaning it has been impossible for his victims to talk about the offending until this week.
"Your name suppression has cost us, we've lost relationships because how can you be friends with people when your world is shattering and you can't say anything," the mother of one victim said in court.
The church also tried to suppress its identity and went as far as seeking its own legal representation - a move it was challenged on in court by the mother of one of the girls.
“The members of our church would be horrified if they knew their tithes were being spent on legal advice for our church because of your criminal actions,” she said.
After a short adjournment, the church’s lawyer, Sefton Revell, told judge Ingram the church was dropping the application after listening to the victims and their families.
Defendant has prospect of rehabilitation - judge
At sentencing, Crown prosecutor Richard Jenson submitted that a sentence starting point of three and a half to four years' imprisonment would be appropriate, while Milgate-Vassalini's lawyer Bill Nabney suggested just three and a half, which was settled upon by Judge Ingram.
The judge said a 25 per cent discount for a guilty plea was appropriate, as was a further 25 per cent for the defendant's youth. That took the sentence to 21 months' imprisonment, under the two-year threshold in which a judge can consider home detention in place of prison.
Home detention was ultimately the outcome of sentencing, with Judge Ingram reflecting on the importance of a sentence focused on rehabilitation.
"The courts try as far as we can to keep people out of jail. We know people who go to jail have their prospects in life much reduced, and the prospects of rehabilitation are much reduced.
"If we send young offenders to prison, there is the stone-cold certainly that they will be stood over in prison by people well capable of making their life a misery."
The defendant had clear prospects of rehabilitation, he said.
Milgate-Vassalini was sentenced to 12 months' home detention and a further 12 months of post-release conditions, including not contacting the victims.
Curate Church board spokeswoman Rebecca Anderson told Open Justice the board formed a complaints committee when it heard about the allegations and referred the matter to the police. The congregation was informed as soon as suppression was lifted.
She said the church had policies in place to deal with allegations of abuse and support was available for the victims and their families.
"Although the incident happened on private premises we have reviewed and improved our church policies and processes to ensure they're best practice in preventing harm to vulnerable people moving forward.
"As a church we would say we are deeply saddened about what has happened and we continue to offer pastoral care wherever and whenever they [the victims] need it."
SEXUAL HARM
Where to get help:
If it's an emergency and you feel that you or someone else is at risk, call 111.
If you've ever experienced sexual assault or abuse and need to talk to someone, contact
