In Kerikeri, they are discussing whether having a bottle smashed over your head constitutes being involved in "a bar room brawl" while over in Whangarei a businessman has been busy bribing government officials.
Labour MPs are in Rotorua being photographed leaning against a bar. Meanwhile this person is concerned The GC cast are being cyberbullied. Still in Rotorua, a local flasher with 34 convictions says he now accepts he needs medical help.
There's only six of these bikes in New Zealand, and one of them is stolen.
If you get locked up in the Masterton Police Station all they will feed you is two-minute noodles made with cold water.
"Vehicle vandals" have been hard at work at Lake Clearwater in Mid Canterbury.
Who says synthetic cannabis isn't bad for you?
Twizel beekeeper Ryan Craig is about to trek the length of New Zealand dragging a heavy, solid totara wooden cross with a GPS attached to it.
If you sent some mail to Oamaru's north end and it didn't arrive this is probably why.
Over on the West Coast, a Cobden woman awoke suddenly to find three uninvited men in hoodies cutting up her balcony with chainsaws.
Top trending items on Twitter in NZ at noon were: #NZLicksLiamsPaynis, #EveryoneHasThat1Friend, #NativeAffairs, Desperate Housewives, The Dictator, Diablo 3, New Zealand, All Blacks, Nicole and Queensland.