KEY POINTS:
The National Party promised New Zealanders a "brighter future" but while John Key was busy in Parliament yesterday trying to deliver it, downstairs Dr Michael Cullen and Helen Clark seemed to have already fallen through the gaps.
On her way to the Labour Party's first caucus since election
night when she announced she was stepping down as the party's leader, Helen Clark was juggling her Plan As.
The first Plan A - to continue as Prime Minister - had failed and had to be replaced by the second Plan A - to be MP for Mt Albert and support the people to whom she was once the boss.
As for Dr Cullen, he was ready to find "new ways to assist my colleagues". This would not constitute sitting on the backbenches cracking jokes. "I'm going to sit somewhat closer and still crack jokes."
He goes on to insist that the reason for his often caustic wit was insomnia. "I never explained that to you guys. It's why I was slightly grumpy there for a year or two."
Now: "I don't want to become like those old men in the Muppet Show, up at the back, you know."
Labour's caucus was a stark contrast to the scene in National's corridors two hours earlier.
There the National MPs hugged in greeting and chattered loud enough to almost drown out their leader who was sombrely addressing the issue of Armistice Day with the media outside. John Key had gleefully told media if they wanted to follow him to Peru next week for his first Apec meeting as Prime Minister "book your tickets".
When John Key entered his caucus room, there was tumultuous applause and a standing ovation which ended only when Gerry Brownlee raised an arm in acknowledgment and joked with feigned modesty "right-o guys, thank you".
At Labour's there is no such hubbub. They wander in, and the doors close for the dispatch of silver trays to those who had not made it back in - among them Harry Duynhoven, Judith Tizard, Mark Burton, Lesley Soper and Margaret Wilson. The media, cheated of months of speculation and back-room whisperings that often precede leadership changes, are left to sit outside for two hours. There is little to entertain them other than one lost new MP who wanders down the corridor heading in the right direction but unfortunately on the wrong floor.
It was tradition for Helen Clark to be the last to arrive for caucus meetings. Today Clark arrives early - just behind Michael Cullen and about 10 minutes ahead of Annette King. Phil Goff is the last to enter.
The order of arrival is a clear sign of what is ahead. Nonetheless, the MPs feign ignorance, parroting "that's up to caucus to decide" when asked who they expect to be elected leader.
The only exception is Chris Carter, who obligingly announces he expects it will be Phil Goff as all the media have already predicted it and there is nobody standing against him.
Two hours later they reappear. Mr Goff and Ms King walk toward the Beehive Theatrette to announce what everyone knew the day before. On the way, Ms King is waylaid by someone she knows. Mr Goff turns to look for her, she scurries to catch up and he quips: "You've had the position for two minutes and I've lost you already."
The media rush along with them and there is nobody left to see where Helen Clark and Michael Cullen go.
