Shaneel Lal: Do the seven Manly players really care about suicide prevention?

By Shaneel Lal

NZ Herald·

29 Jul, 2022 06:28 PM6 mins to read

Shaneel Lal says it is more important than ever to celebrate queer people. Photo / Supplied

OPINION:

The game between Manly Sea Eagles and Roosters was to raise money for a suicide prevention foundation, Gotcha4Life. But the harm the seven Manly players caused by standing against the rainbow jersey will far outweigh any benefit of the money raised. Isn't it ironic that the seven Manly players signed up to play for the Gotcha4Life cup to raise money for suicide prevention, but the very moment they realised they could be a part of saving queer lives too, they stood down, citing their religious beliefs?

Would God be upset with the seven Manly players if they put on a rainbow jersey and showed queer children, young people, and adults their support? I think if there is a God and if God cares about the lives of all people, they would have applauded the seven Manly players for fending for a vulnerable group. God doesn't care if you are gay or trans; being a decent human will suffice. As for these religious extremists, they have driven queer people into a life of pain, misery and death, and God will never forgive them for it.

While Manly Sea Eagles and Roosters celebrate the money they've raised for Gotcha4Life, let's spare a thought for queer people who copped a kick in the teeth from the hateful seven. In Aotearoa, young queer people are five times more likely than non-queer young people to attempt suicide. Queer people are not more likely to attempt suicide because they are queer. Queer people are more likely to attempt suicide because of how society treats them for being queer.

I did not grow up with much queer representation. The one trans woman in my village was constantly abused. As a kid, I learned this would be my reality if I decided to be my true self. I hid. I did not want to be abused. That hiding created an inner turmoil that ate away at me. Young queer people watched the seven NRL players' actions closely and learned that the world is still not accepting of who they are. Constantly pretending to be someone you aren't out of fear for your safety and for maintaining familial relationships creates a miserable life for queer people.

Activist Shaneel Lal reveals the messages he has received by anti-queer people. Photo / Supplied

When people with significant influence use their platform to express anti-queer views, it encourages their followers to do the same. The seven Manly players' actions emboldened anti-queer folk to take the internet to spread anti-queer bigotry. Since the Manly debacle began, I have been told by people to "go die", I have been called a "faggot dog" and "anorexic" and told that queer people are "straight off to hell". Their actions have more considerable consequences for queer people. Not only do we have to deal with a group of grown men refusing to wear a jersey with thin rainbow stripes, but we are also required to protect ourselves from the additional hatred sparked by their refusal to do so. Queer people have been made to witness hundreds of people defend the seven Manly players. It has become crystal clear that society has not progressed.

We must also consider the impact this has on queer NRL players. There is no doubt that there will be some closeted queer folk in NRL. Why would any queer person want to come out in an environment like this? The culture at NRL is unsafe and hostile. One day a queer player might wake up, and their colleagues may refuse to show up to work because they do not want to play alongside a queer player for religious reasons. Where does it end? I am over putting up with people who think anti-queer views are equal and opposite of those who accept queer people. Queer people are trying to exist. Christian extremists are going out of their way to undermine the humanity of queer people.

Manly players' actions are frustrating because they are dripping with hypocrisy. Every year during Men's Mental Health Month, rugby players get on the internet to rant about how difficult it is to be a man. These same men spend the rest of the 11 months bullying queer men and degrading their wellbeing. They are only concerned about the wellbeing of people they do not consider ungodly, but to use your religion as an excuse to bully vulnerable people is pathetic. If your religion teaches you to hate people, then perhaps your religion is the problem, and your God is not all-loving.

The queer community had nothing to do with Manly's pride jerseys, but now we have to involuntarily witness non-queer people debate whether we are worthy of being included in NRL. Lost in the noise are the props to the Manly players who, despite the backlash, played in the pride jersey.

It is vital to shed light on queer joy and allyship. Queer joy sends a message to queer children that there is a world in which they can be queer and happy. Queer joy is radical because it gives the next generation of queer people hope to keep fighting. After this long week of queer-bashing, it will be more important than ever to celebrate queer people.

Shaneel Lal is a queer activist and co-founder and leader of End Conversion Therapy.

Where to get help:

• Lifeline: 0800 543 354 (available 24/7)
• Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) (available 24/7)
• Youthline: 0800 376 633 or text 234 (available 24/7)
• Kidsline: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7)
• Whatsup: 0800 942 8787 (12pm to 11pm)
• Depression helpline: 0800 111 757 or text 4202 (available 24/7)
• Anxiety helpline: 0800 269 4389 (0800 ANXIETY) (available 24/7)
• Rainbow Youth: (09) 376 4155