Herd Immunity in the UK
The public has been exposed to so much bullshit over the last year that nobody is surprised by it anymore, experts have confirmed. From the big mistakes made at the start of the pandemic to the poor handling of the fuel crisis, the majority of the British public are now so used to lies and stupidity that the entire country has become immune.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: "The weary resignation that we're completely stuffed as a nation is now so widespread that even a massive tax hike would fail to muster a grumble from most people.
"At this point Boris Johnson could break into your house, spill red wine on your carpet and kick your cat, and you'd numbly accept it. In fact, the government's approval rating would skyrocket."
Voter Bill McKay said: "Having been exposed to such an excess of incompetence that I don't even notice it anymore, I can now go about my crap life without feeling like I need to topple the government. (Via The Daily Mash)
Is this you?
"If this is your gran it might be a nice purchase for the mantelpiece?" tweets @themorgan of this picture taken at the David Bowie concert 1978 and for sale at Webbs Auctions. There must be a story behind it? An outfit change or maybe a spillage?
Sub secrets hidden
"A former US navy nuclear engineer and his wife faced their first court hearing on Tuesday, on charges they attempted to sell secrets about nuclear submarines to a foreign power in exchange for cryptocurrency. The case of Jonathan and Diana Toebbe has made headlines around the world, not least because they are alleged to have attempted to hand over secrets hidden inside a peanut butter sandwich."
Old School Teachers
1. A reader writes: "We had a very young 20s, popular male teacher in standard 3 at primary school – late 70s. if you played up he'd lift you to the metal criss-cross rafters, put one of the big class rubbish bins of water under and hang you there by your hands. I remember a class trip to Western Springs where a boy played up and he was made to sit there with a bucket on his head! Was actually a much-liked teacher"
2. Robert Densem writes: "About 60 years ago I had a crusty English teacher with an Oxford accent. In our class was a rebellious boy who later became a Cabinet minister. He was given two of the "biff" (a leather strap) by the teacher for insolent behaviour. He returned to the classroom shouting "I demand justice!" Teacher dryly replied, "Johnson, I showed you mercy. If I had given you justice you would have received six!
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3. "When I was at school in Southern Rhodesia in the early 1960s our Afrikaans-language teacher had an interesting discipline methodology." writes Aubrey Richardson-Jones. "He'd call the unruly or inattentive boy up the front and position him with head firmly tucked under the blackboard chalk shelf and proceed to whack his behind with a slat from a high stool seat, resulting in head jerking and banging on the shelf. However, his redeeming feature was that he represented our country in athletics at the Tokyo Olympics in 1964."