Shower thoughts by @TheWeirdWorld

1.

The fact that there is a staircase to heaven and highway to hell says a lot about the expected traffic flows.

2. Humans have terrible battery life: eight hours of charging, 16 hours of use.

3. One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says "smell this ..." it will usually smell nice.

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4. Can't find your children? Try turning off the Wi-Fi. They will appear suddenly.

5. Randomly hearing your favourite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

6. If you can't tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Royal birthday secrets defy belief

A cover story in Us magazine, "Inside Charlotte's 3rd Birthday!", that exposes Prince William's daughter's deepest, darkest secrets, reveals she had a birthday cake, her favourite dinner and a lot of presents. "The greatest gift of all, perhaps, arrived a week earlier when Kate gave birth to Prince Louis," the mag gushes. "Charlotte is really enjoying having a younger brother to play with," says a source. Sure. Because we all know what fun a 3-year-old can have playing games with a newborn baby that can't walk, crawl or talk, and can only feed or cry.

Diane wonders what this bus in Wellington was getting at:
Diane wonders what this bus in Wellington was getting at: "Under what? Underneath? Checked. No driver. Underwhelmed? Under-used?"

Kindness of strangers

"We were very poor growing up and couldn't afford very many special outings," writes an Auckland woman. "We were out somewhere when I was about 7 or so and there was a makeshift ice-skating rink there. Growing up in a part of New Zealand that doesn't get ice and snow, this was the first time I'd ever seen anything like that. I thought it was amazing. I knew there was no point in asking my parents if I could go skating as we just wouldn't be able to afford it, so I just watched longingly from the side at people having fun. The man running the rink must have felt sorry for me or something and asked if I wanted a go. I said I couldn't as I didn't have any money, but he said it was okay. I had so much fun ice-skating for the first time and have never forgotten that kind man."