Sideswipe: May 9: Badum-tish!

How to advertise a fog machine.

You've lost me...

Phrases that make you immediately switch off to whatever someone is saying...

1. "It gets rid of the toxins in your body."

2. "This is not a pyramid scheme."

3. "Only God can judge me."

4. "As a [insert zodiac sign here] ... "

5. "Who KNOWS what's in those vaccines?"

6. "Calm down."

7. "[Insert really awful insult here] ... Just jokes."

Pronouncing bubbles

Language geek Max Cryer confirms that Jonelle Price's horse Classic Moet is correctly pronounced Mowett. "The famous Champagne firm was founded in 1743 by Claude Moet, the first winemaker to produce sparkling wine from the French district of Champagne. But Mr Moet's name came from his family's Dutch heritage — not French and the final 't' is always pronounced."

Lucid dreams

Monty has a nightmarish dream: "I had a very lucid dream where I had a nightmare and then thought I had woken from it when I hadn't. I sat up and saw myself sitting at the end of the bed, just looking back at me. I said to her (me), 'I'm so glad this is just a dream because I'm really scared and just want to to wake up'. And she (I) replied, 'but you're not going to wake up. I'll be the one who wakes up'. When I finally did wake up, I spent about half the day wondering if I was me or the other me. Horrible."

Devil's in the detail

Police humour. The Salem (Illinois) Police Department posted an alert for its citizens at Facebook. "This message was written on one of our city sidewalks today with sidewalk chalk. As a courtesy, we want to keep our citizens informed. Please, if you have satin sheets or pillowcases, keep them under lock and key as someone apparently wants to worship them!"

Quick links

1. While you are yabbering away, this is what your tongue is doing.

2. New high-end wine brand.

Video Pick

In this classic clip from 1965, students react to their new, attractive teacher. from an episode of Candid Camera a hidden camera/practical joke reality television series …

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz