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Home / Entertainment

Emilia Clarke says she was 'exhausted' by the pressure she put on herself to 'feel normal' after two brain aneurysms

By Connie Rusk and Andrew Bullock
Daily Mail·
7 Jul, 2019 11:15 PM7 mins to read

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Emilia Clarke had to endure a press tour for the first season of Game of Thrones after suffering her first aneurysm and said she made it through interviews by sipping on morphine. Photo / Getty Images

Emilia Clarke had to endure a press tour for the first season of Game of Thrones after suffering her first aneurysm and said she made it through interviews by sipping on morphine. Photo / Getty Images

Emilia Clarke has said she felt "exhausted" by the pressure she put on herself to "feel normal again" after suffering a stroke eight years ago.

The actress, 32, was left with stress, anxiety and fatigue, as she tried to return to full health after undergoing surgery at the age of 24.

Now, Emilia is backing a NHS programme in the UK to improve stroke care for young people, with the project aiming to train more nurses to become specialists in neuro rehabilitation, the Daily Mail reports.

"Stroke is something you never expect to happen, especially not in your 20s and 30s, but it is remarkable how often it is happening to young people," she told the Telegraph.

"When you're a young person experiencing it, the mental health aspects go unnoticed and that's what I experienced, you need to be treated as a fully-rounded person and not just a list of symptoms."

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Emilia was looked after by two specialist nurses but put pressure on herself to feel normal, which induced "stress, anxiety and fatigue".

She said: "That strain exhausted me more than anything, forcing myself to feel okay, if I can help a young person who was in the state I was in, I know they would be lifted and feel lighter in themselves."

The Royal College of Nursing Foundation will partner with SameYou to lead the new education programme for nurses from next year.

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Back in April, the actress released unseen photographs taken during her recovery from the life-threatening aneurysm she first suffered in 2011.

Emilia Clarke suffered two brain aneurysms in 2011. Photo / CBS via YouTube
Emilia Clarke suffered two brain aneurysms in 2011. Photo / CBS via YouTube

Appearing on CBS Sunday Morning, Emilia recalled the dark place she went to after her surgery, she shared images from her hospital stay, revealing the second aneurysm very nearly killed her.

Discussing the impact it had not just on her physical health but mental wellbeing, she revealed: "The first time it was difficult, with the second one I found it much harder to stay optimistic.

"[I coped with it as a] a day to day thing. I definitely went through a period of being... down — putting it mildly."

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Emilia explained when a part of your brain is starved of blood for more than a minute it dies, which is what happened to her after her second aneurysm.

She recalled: "So, they [the doctors] literally were looking at the brain and being like, 'Well, we think it could be — could be her concentration, it could be her peripheral vision," she said.

"I always say it's my taste in men," she joked.

"For a very long time, I thought it was my ability to act … that was a deep paranoia."

During the interview Emilia also admitted what it was like to return to the Game of Thrones' set after her brain haemorrhage which happened after filming season one of the show.

She said that once she returned to shoot the second season she had no time to "question her own mortality" because she was too busy playing a "bada*s character who walked through fire".

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Emilia said: "You go on the set, and you play a badass character, and you walk through fire, and you speak to hundreds of people, and you're being asked to be — to work as hard as you possibly can.

"And that became the thing that just saved me from considering my own mortality, yeah," she said of working on the set while dealing with her first aneurysm.

Emilia had just finished filming the first season of the HBO series when she had her first brain aneurysm while working out with a personal trainer.

The star was quickly sent for an MRI after the shocking event, where they diagnosed her with a subarachnoid haemorrhage.

This type of haemorrhage is a life-threatening form of stroke, which is caused by bleeding around the brain and a third of patients die immediately or soon after suffering one.

Emilia told The New Yorker: "In my worst moments, I wanted to pull the plug. I asked the medical staff to let me die. My job — my entire dream of what my life would be — centred on language, on communication. Without that, I was lost."

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While recovering from her first aneurysm she was told that she had another on the other side of her brain which could burst at any time, however it may also just lie dormant.

Before she was thrown back into filming, Emilia had to endure a press tour for the first season of the show and said she remembers feeling like she could die at any moment and made it through interviews by sipping on morphine.

After struggling through filming for season two and pushing herself to complete season three, Emilia took a role as Holly Golightly on Broadway.

While in New York, Emilia went for a one of her regular brain scans and medics discovered that [the growth] had doubled in size and wanted to operate to avoid any complications.

Despite being promised a simple operation, Emilia said she awoke screeching in agony following the failed operation and doctors had to operate again in order to improve her chance of survival.

She said while spending another month in hospital she sometimes lost hope and suffered from anxiety and panic attacks, adding that she felt like a shadow of her former self.

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The actress, 32, said she felt 'exhausted' by the pressure she put on herself to 'feel normal again' after suffering a stroke eight years ago. Photo / CBS via YouTube
The actress, 32, said she felt 'exhausted' by the pressure she put on herself to 'feel normal again' after suffering a stroke eight years ago. Photo / CBS via YouTube

The Me Before You actress said that she now struggles recalling those dark times because her mind has tried to block them out, but she does remember being convinced she would die, and that her story would get out.

A reporter asked her about her operation six weeks after the surgery, when the National Enquirer ran a small story, but Emilia was quick to deny the allegation.

However Emilia said she now feels like the time is right to speak out, and acknowledges that she is one of the fortunate few with an excellent level of care.

Speaking to Stephen Colbert on The Late Show, Emilia revealed that she "knew" her brain was being damaged while having a brain aneurysm and recited Game Of Thrones lines to stay conscious.

Emilia told Stephen that during the haemorrhage she did everything she could to keep her brain active, including testing her knowledge of the fictional language she uses in Game of Thrones.

She said: "The easy way of describing it is that it's the worst headache that a human could possibly manage to experience. It was pretty intense.

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"I genuinely knew I was being brain damaged. I don't know how. [I] moved my fingers, toes, my hands, asked myself questions, Dothraki lines. [I was] really trying to force my memory to stay conscious."

Asked by the presenter how she knew to perform the exercises, she said: "The mind is an extraordinary thing. I just knew that I was... not today."

When questioned about whether the life-threatening experiences changed her outlook on life, she said: "It made me petrified most of the time. I wish I could sit here and say I was just like, 'Yeah, let's go jump out of a plane!'"

She added with good humour: "But I did do Game Of Thrones, which was similar, certain seasons.

"For the rest of your life, you know how lucky you are."

WHAT IS A SUBARACHNOID HEMORRHAGE?

A subarachnoid hemorrhage (SAH) is a type of stroke caused by bleeding in the brain.

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Five to 10 percent of strokes are caused by SAH. They most typically occur in older people.

It can be caused by a head injury or a ruptured aneurysm.

A third of patients survive and recover, a third survive with disability, and a third do not survive.

CAUSES

Aneurysm: a balloon-like bulge or weakening of an artery wall that ruptures, releasing blood into the subarachnoid space around the brain.

Arteriovenous malformation (AVM): an abnormal tangle of arteries and veins with no capillaries in between. The weakened blood vessels can rupture and bleed.

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Traumatic brain injury: during the impact of an accident, the brain crashes back and forth inside the skull tearing blood vessels.

SYMPTOMS

• sudden onset of a severe headache (often described as 'the worst headache of my life')
• nausea and vomiting
• stiff neck
• sensitivity to light (photophobia)
• blurred or double vision
• loss of consciousness
• seizures

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