Think again about those lying eyes

By JO REVILL

Exasperated parents who tell their children, "Look at me while I'm talking to you" should actually be telling them the opposite, say psychologists who have studied the way the young process complex information.

A study has found that children who avert their gaze while adults are speaking to them may be concentrating on taking in the facts, rather than being distracted by someone's face.

"Gaze aversion" seems to help the mind absorb detail in ways that are not yet fully understood.

Researchers in Britain have done two school studies in which children were taught to look away when spoken to, to see whether they could take in more facts than others who held the teacher's gaze.

The results from one study, to be published shortly, will show that the youngest primary children do better if they turn away. This could also apply to adults.

For centuries, people who don't meet the eyes of those speaking to them have been seen as shifty or underhand.

But it is possible that looking away helps the brain to avoid processing unnecessary, distracting information.

Another general assumption is that those who avoid eye contact are lying, but several studies have shown that to be a highly unreliable indicator of deception.

In fact, some liars actually use their eyes to project an image of honesty because they know that looking away will be interpreted negatively.

Dr Gwyneth Doherty-Sneddon, a psychologist at the University of Stirling, in Scotland, has studied gaze aversion in young children to see if they were using it to control their "mental load".

In comparing a group of 30 5-year-olds with a group of 8-year-olds she found that the older children looked away more from the questioner's face when they were thinking about a difficult query.

They didn't look away when it was being asked, just when they were trying to frame their response.

"Adults often interpret looking away as a sign of disengagement or lack of interest," Dr Doherty-Sneddon said, "but our research points to the idea that it is a technique for helping them to concentrate.

"Rather than being discouraged, it should actually be encouraged."

She believes that gaze aversion is a skill that comes with age rather than being innate.

Younger children rely more on looking at the face of an adult for visual cues, while older ones have learned to rely more on the verbal information they are given.

New Zealand psychologists agree that forced eye contact for a long period of time can interfere with a child's ability to take in what a parent is saying.

But rather than advocating gaze aversion, they say parents can can use a number of techniques to ensure children understand them.

Child psychologist Steven Hayns, of Triple P, said parents often demanded that children look at them when they wanted to correct behaviour.

He taught parents that although eye contact was important, it was okay if a child looked away after any instruction had been given.

"More important than eye contact is proximity. A parent needs to be reasonably close and deliver clear instructions."

Mr Hayns said if a child looked away it did not necessarily mean he or she was being disrespectful. In Pacific cultures it was a sign of respect to look down.

Psychologist Sara Chatwin said adults did not always maintain eye contact when talking to each other but could assimilate what was said.

Tips for parents

* Psychologists believe signals picked up from looking at someone's face may interfere with performing demanding mental tasks at the same time.

* British research shows the youngest primary children do better if they turn away.

* NZ psychologists say being close to a child is more important than eye contact.

* Adults should check children have understood what was said rather than demanding that they look at them.

- INDEPENDENT, additional reporting REBECCA WALSH