Why you should buy your kid an experience for Christmas

if it's a joyful Christmas you're after, experts say you should prioritise one gift above the rest. Photo / Unsplash

Christmas is an exciting time when you're a kid. It brings to mind long holidays, great food, and, of course, presents.

When we think of Christmas gifts for kids, our minds probably go to toys and gadgets but if you ask the experts, a video game or lego set won't be the best gift for making a little one feel loved.

Data from Finder New Zealand found the average Kiwi estimates they'll spend $1012 on festive gifts this Christmas. However, according to a 2017 study published in The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, this money will be best spent on experiences and bonding time instead of material itmes.

The study asked almost 500 participants aged between 19 and 93, the question , "Most people feel loved when … ". The most popular response, one of the study's authors told NPR, was not related to physical gifts.

"Our research found that micro-moments of positivity, like a kind word, cuddling with a child or receiving compassion make people feel most loved," said Pennsylvania State University's human development and family studies professor, Dr Zita Oravecz.

During a 2017 innterview with the Telegraph, psychological author Oliver James said this wasn't just foud to be the case with adults.
"Give a 2-year-old a present and she'll get absorbed in the box instead," he said.
"It's similar with children and travel. We should let them explore their own ways of finding wonder in their surroundings."

It's this exploration and discovery does't just provide long-term happiness but helps make children smarter according to British child psychologist Dr Margot Sunderland.

"What is less widely known is that [vacations] can also advance brain development in children," she wrote in a piece for the telegraph.

"This is because on a family [vacation], you are exercising two genetically ingrained systems deep in the brain's limbic area, which can all too easily be 'unexercised' in the home."

'Play system', explained Sunderland, is exercised when you take them for a swim on your back, bury their feet in the sand or play a game of make-believe. The 'seeking system', is activated when you explore together, whether it's in a forest, beach or a new city.

By taking your child on a vacation or for an experience, Sutherland wrote, you support both their urge to explore (the 'seeking system') and capacity to play ('play system'); skills that are essential for a good life.

"In adulthood, this translates into the ability to play with ideas — essential, for example, to the successful entrepreneur."

The way trips and experiences take us away from regular routine is also a key element that contributes to the benefits of these gifts.

Vacations, James said, "remove us, physically, from our highly pressured everyday lives where everyone's focused on meeting targets. They are times when everyone can relax and be playful together."

Bringing kids may make these events a touch more chaotic, but according to James, they can help adults experience things in a brand new way.

"Children see the world differently," he said. "Through consumption, for example: The way that French cafés have Orangina instead of Fanta is fascinating to kids, and details like that will stick with them for long after the [vacation] ends."

Just make sure your time together, whether it's a weekend away, an afternoon kayak trip or day hike is free from individual gadgets or toys that distract from bonding.

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