KEY POINTS:
Ten things to do in Paris... that don't involve rugby.
1) Get up the Eiffel Tower
This desirable "iron lady", admired by six million visitors a year, was designed and built by engineer Gustave Eiffel in 1889, to commemorate the 100-year anniversary of the French Revolution.
She is made up of 200,000sq m worth of cast iron, weighs 7,300 tonnes and stands 324 metres tall (that's if you count the almost three metre-high antennae French TV companies have been planting on top). The massive structure is repainted (in a different hue) every seven years to prevent it from going rusty - this involves 50 tonnes of paint being applied by keen acrobats and abseilers.
If you're the adventurous type or intent on keeping fit during your Parisian sojourn, clambering the 1665 steps to the second floor and its cluster of souvenir shops is set to rock your boat.
Less active visitors may prefer to take one of the see-through lifts instead. Since the millennium celebrations, the Eiffel Tower has also had a twinkle in its lattice - 353 projectors of 1000 watts light up the tower via 20,000 bulbs and 800 fairy lights twinkling every20 seconds.
2) Have a picnic
A wonderful way to experience the Parisian joie de vivre - and a little romance - is by having a picnic.
Step 1: Head to the fabulous Rue Cler market south of the Eiffel Tower and grab some essentials: camembert or brie, a hot baguette, a fresh butter leaf salad and a bottle of Beaujoulais.
Step 2: Park yourself near Pont Neuf bridge, the Tulleries Gardens not far from the Louvre or any of the other idyllic parks or green areas along the banks of the Seine.
Step 3: Watch the world go by and doze off gazing at the sunset.
3) Visit the Grande Arche
La Grande Arche (de la Fraternite) in the La Defence business district on the western outskirts of Paris is a 108 metre-high concrete cube with a glass-marble covering. It was designed by Danish architect Johann Otto von Spreckelsen as a 20th century version of the Arc de Triomphe, as a monument of humanity and human ideals. The Arche, which looks like a 4D cube projected on a 3D world, boasts marvellous views of Paris and has an expo centre in its roof - but it's the perfect way it fits inside the Arc de Triomphe when you look through the latter from the city side, that impresses the most. It has this effect because it was strategically placed to complete a line of monuments that forms the city's historic axis. The Arche also forms a second axis with the two highest buildings in Paris, the Eiffel Tower and the 210-metre high skyscraper Tour Montparnasse.
4) Shop till you drop
Tempted by endless clothing, antiques, jewellery and other exciting offerings, it's easy to shop till you - and your bank manager - drop in Paris. The top address for designer boutiques is Rue St Honor, and in particular the concept store Collette, where you can virtually pick up about-to-become-trendy items hot off the sewing machine. If you don't have the dosh to splash out on designer gowns such as Gucci or Lacroix, do not despair.
You can round up some equally fabulous, eclectic, eccentric or just plain good value goods at one of the city's burgeoning flea markets or puces. There's Les Puces de St-Ouen - a crazy and fun place, known as Les Puces (The Fleas). It was created by the rag people who rummaged through the streets at night for paraphernalia they could sell by day. Spanning 7ha, it's the world's biggest flea market, with up to 180,000 visitors bargaining for their share of new or second-hand clothes, furniture and art works at rock bottom prices each weekend.
Open all day every Saturday to Monday, you should bring cash as credit cards aren't always accepted and beware of pickpockets.
5) In the mood at Montmatre
Montmatre, a mecca for artists, writers and poets since Picasso and his arty mates lived and worked here, is a tourist trap at the best of times (largely thanks to the Moulin Rouge) and especially if you happen to pass through the chronically over-crowded Place du Tertre, where beret-topped, Gauloises-smoking portrait artists are likely to pester you to bits.
Take a slight detour though and you'll catch a glimpse of the famous hill in its real glory - the narrow streets, French villas, cute boutiques, and some of the best views over Paris you'll ever experience. Don't forget to pop into the exquisite dome-topped Sacre Coeur Basilica next door - it's teeming with tourists but you can always head to a trendy bourgeois-bohemian bar to the north of the hill for a recuperating tipple.
6) Have a crepe
Don't leave Paris without indulging in at least one chocolate, liqueur or lemon, sugar and cinnamon-filled crepe. From kitsch to old-style, in the Latin Quarter (St Germain) you'll find at least one authentic creperie (pancake house) that'll tickle your tastebuds, even if it means you'll have to venture down some narrow alleyways.
7) Visit Centre Pompidou
This avant-garde modern art museum with its unusual `turned inside out look' (all the pipes, lifts, air-con units etc are outside to maximise the space inside) was initially a bone of contention among Parisians. Today, Centre Georges Pompidou, named after the president who commissioned it, is the epicentre of all the latest things creative. Fashion shows, installations, modern art and multimedia exhibits, you name it, you can have it - at 10 ($20) all-inclusive. The centre has a public library and cinemas.
8) Tackle the Louvre
The Louvre was first built to defend Paris against the Vikings and became a museum in 1973. It's truly inspirational - provided you head there early to avoid the hordes. Taking the metro entrance instead of the street entrance is one way of avoiding the queues. Head to the Mona Lisa straight away - before said hordes arrive and obstruct what little is visible of her, as she may be larger than life artistically, but she certainly isn't in metrical terms. The best way to take in all the Louvre, has to offer - from the ancient Egyptian, Greek and Oriental artefacts, to the paintings - sculptures from the Middle Ages upwards, is by dividing your visits into two half days and using a map and audio guide. Free entry on the first Sunday of each month.
9) Take the metro
The metro is the main source of transport in Paris (apart from your feet and car traffic, which you'd rather avoid). It's chaotic and the networks can be confusing, but it's a cheap way to get around. It's also an amusing social study, especially during one of the notorious industrial strikes when locals are likely to `erupt' into heated arguments between stations. Scrubbing up on your French and picking up on what the argument is actually about will make it all the more entertaining - it will also make buying your metro ticket or enquiring about a route infinitely easier, as any attempt you make to master the local tongue will be greatly appreciated.
10) Say hello to Jim
Visiting the Pere Lachaise cemetery where famous writers, artists and musos (hopefully) rest in peace is as cool as it is creepy. You'll still find plenty of fan gifts scattered on and around Doors front man Jim Morrison's much-visited grave, and can pay homage to the likes of Edith Piaf and Oscar Wilde.
The cemetery was named after Louis XIV's religious adviser and is dotted with 19th century monuments placed here in memory of the 147 rebels shot dead during the 1871 Paris Commune.
- Detours, HoS
