The small Waikato town on the tracks has been named New Zealand's worst town.

Huntly eclipsed the competition, receiving 15000 votes on the Facebook Page S*** Towns of New Zealand to claim the country's least sought after accolade: "S*** Town of the Year".

Although narrowly missing the top slot in prior years, 2019 is Huntly's year.

Huntly is perhaps famous for towering smoke stacks, its fading Topp Twins mural and being the place where both the S1 and the Waikato river apparently flow through without thinking to stop.

Advertisement

S*** Towns praised the New Zealand conurbation for its "staggering array of attractions including a filthy power station, a filthy river and the country's only maximum-security primary school".

Local icons: Topp Twins mural on the side of the S1. Photo / Trudy Price, Twitter
Local icons: Topp Twins mural on the side of the S1. Photo / Trudy Price, Twitter

Like San Francisco's Skid Row, the "Waikato skid mark" is famous for its railway connections. Although S*** Towns is probably not referring to the train lines.

In a final face-off against Porirua "P town", Huntly claimed 67 per cent of the public vote.

The satirical "awards", now in its third year, was claimed by Hawera in 2018 and Gore in 2017, which the Facebook page refers to as "basically an open wound."

The potty-mouthed Facebook page which has 135000 followers was set up by two comedians who go by the pseudonyms Rick Furphy and Geoff Rissole.

Last year the page published a paperback guidebook to New Zealand's most downtrodden suburbs and towns, ranking them from the most "affluent to the effluent" and "the rural to the urinal".

This year's results feature in a second volume, titled "SH*T Towns of New Zealand: Number two".

Not everyone has seen the funny side of the Facebook Page.

In its first year, the authors received twenty death threats from insulted Kiwis.

Advertisement

After referring to Cromwell in Otago as the "Mistake by the Lake" they were targeted by upset residents. "People have threatened to stab our eyes, throw us off a bridge that sort of thing," they told the Herald, adding the Cromwellians "seem to have very thin skin."

After the closing of this year's vote they already have plans to bring S*** Towns of NZ back next year, saying:

"Thanks to everyone who voted in the competition throughout the year, and better luck to your s*** town next time."

Waikato district council said it was not an "award" they were intending to win, however they saw the humour in Huntly's new accolade.

"The people of Huntly are proud of their town, so were rather surprised with the prestigious award presented to them last night," district mayor Allan Sanson told the Herald.

Referring to Huntly as "the heart of the great Waikato district," the council came back with a poetic response to the S*** Town Award.

In verse worthy of the Topp Twins, here's their poetic defence for the "mighty town of Huntly":

So some people have decided that Huntly's sh*t
But we're not having a bar of it.
We know it is only a bit of fun
But we're tired of Huntly being under the gun.
NZ's big business clearly disagrees
Sleepyhead's interested –potential's what it sees
If it's sport you're into, league's Huntly's game
Hohaia, Nikau, or Koopu - if you want a name.
Entertainment? Huntly pulls out the stops
Just like our favourite twins, Huntly's Topps.
The river runs through it with all it's might
We promise you, our Huntly is not shite.
But most of all, it's Huntly peeps
That makes this place one for keeps.
So come on down and take a look
Huntly's a hit, not sh*t, in our book.