Gerald Sheehy longs for the sound of children squabbling.

I never for a moment thought that I would miss the sound of holidaying, Australian mothers yelling at their children, in their harshest accent, "Esk ya bloody farva!" But I did — my god, how I did.

My darling wife, Bad Jelly, and I had just made what is surely one of the worst booking mistakes in a life full of travel . We had booked ourselves into an adults-only resort on Denarau Island, in Fiji. And yes, I admit: It was my mistake.

We had just spent a few days

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