In the age of crowdfunding and declining tradition, there's naturally some cultural friction.

A mum has landed in the thick of it and has reached out to community Mumsnet for advice.

She explains that her friend is getting married "for the second time for both of them".

"They both earn good money but spend over their means, she tells me so and will quite happily admit to maxing several credit cards"

She goes on to explain that she generally doesn't agree with people asking for money to fund their honeymoon when they could budget for that themselves.


TooOldForThisSh*te says, "They are going away a week or so after the wedding to Europe but they don't want this to be a honeymoon as it's not enough apparently."

She then adds, "I do however want to get them a gift. I'm not sure what though."

Unsurprisingly, this was a contentious post, with nearly five hundred people weighing in.

VivienneHolt says, "I think this is a bit judgy. Most people could save up and pay for a toaster or some fancy sheets too if they wanted, but they still get them as wedding gifts. If you want to get them a present, get them what they want instead of trying to insert your own moral principles into the situation."

TheFridgeRaider agrees, "I don't get this hate towards having money instead of physical gift. Just put money you would spend on something they will probably never use into an envelope."

Whose side are you on? Photo / Supplied
Whose side are you on? Photo / Supplied

Essentially, without getting sidelined by extensive toaster discussion (as this internet thread did) there was hundreds of comments that fell into two camps.

Many thought the woman judgy; "Their lifestyle is totally irrelevant. You give them a gift, so something that they will enjoy and make the most of- they made your life simple by directing you towards honeymoon fund. There's nothing to 'agree with', the gift is for people who receive it. Not the time to put your judgy pants."

GroundAnchoChilliPowder is on the woman's side, "Grabby as AF. £40 (NZ$75) isn't enough? C'mon, it's a second wedding, shouldn't be asking for 'gifts' of any sort. Just don't go to the wedding and send them a card"