A weekly ode to the joys of moaning about your holiday, by Tim Roxborogh.

I once bumped into a relieving teacher from my primary school while on holiday. I didn't say hi.

There was a feeling of moderate guilt, but my main memory was of being so thrown by the whole thing that I didn't know what to do. Until that fateful Mangawhai Heads day as a 12-year-old, I'd not felt the jumble of emotions that hit you when you bump into someone you know while on holiday.

The initial surprise is often followed by awkwardness: will you now have