A weekly ode to the joys of moaning about your holiday, by Tim Roxborogh.
Maybe it's the altitude, maybe the lack of oxygen, but there's something about movies and planes that creates a strange, emotional combo. The two films that jump into my head for getting the eyes more than just a little moist on a long-haul flight are The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button and Marley And Me. Marley And Me!? It's a good movie and I'm very partial to pets - but really!
Luckily the dim lighting and constant noise of flying are kind to the privacy of on-board blubbers, but there's not much you can do if the tears start flowing during the meal service. "The chicken or the fish, sir?"
Which is where we should spare a thought for passengers who flew during the ancient days before personal screens and the ability to watch what you wanted, when you wanted.
Let's say it's 1988 and the entire plane is engrossed with Bette Midler in Beaches. Here's a 29-year old spoiler alert: imagine what it would've been like at 30,000ft with a couple of hundred passengers seeing Bette's lifelong best friend pass away? And all the out of control sobs during Wind Beneath My Wings? Pandemonium in the skies!
Trying To Buy Gifts While Overseas
Too often I hear myself saying out loud, "Sorry your birthday present will be a little late, but I'll get you something cool overseas". As if this monolithic "overseas" shopping haven is suddenly going to transform me into a good gift-buyer. I am, unfortunately, the guy who bought a girl a paper towel holder for her 21st. I'm uncertain she ever forgave me.
But hey, throw me "overseas" and I'll be transformed into some kind of gift-giving guru who can buy you cultural emblems you never knew you wanted and at a bargain-tastic price. Or so I keep telling myself and those dearest to me.
From a purple Guatemalan bush shirt to a Singaporean bowl that you whack with a wooden stirrer to create an allegedly soothing dong sound, my loved ones have perfected the face that says "thanks" while internally saying, "you are a loser".
Tim Roxborogh hosts Newstalk ZB's The Two, Coast Soul on Coast and writes theRoxboroghReport.com.