AITA? Man asks if it’s okay to go on a lads’ trip while in a relationship

The man asked if he was in the wrong for wanting to go abroad with his male friends and leave his girlfriend behind. Photo / 123rf

A man has asked for advice after his girlfriend forbade him from taking a trip to Greece with his guy friends.

“She just said I was disrespecting the relationship by going and that I should say no to my friends,” said the young man, who shared his story under an anonymous name on Reddit.

He explained that a group of friends from university planned to take a trip abroad to celebrate graduating in 2020 but the pandemic put the trip on hold.

“Once the world got back to normality, we all had jobs and it was a nightmare to align our free time,” he explained. Then, earlier this year, a friend suggested taking the long-awaited trip during the upcoming Europe summer. His uncle had a villa in Greece they could use for seven to 10 days.

“Greece is somewhere I’ve wanted to go for a while so I said yes and was excited and everyone else said they would come,” the man said.

His girlfriend, however, wasn’t quite as thrilled. He proposed going somewhere together at the start or end of summer for five nights but she refused as she wanted to go away for longer, in the middle of summer.

“I apologised but said that this is likely the only chance I’m going to get to have the holiday with these friends,” he said, while the couple would spend many future summers together. The girlfriend allegedly said men in relationships should not go on holidays without their partners.

The couple were at an impasse. “She just repeated that it’s disrespectful to be going and that I should be prioritising our relationship and not going on a lads’ holiday but I just repeated that this was the only chance I’m going to have to go with these friends so I’m going to take it.

The man shared his story to the popular “Am I the A**hole” forum on Reddit eight months ago and many commented their thoughts on the situation.

“Seems she just does not want you to go without her. Or to have fun for that matter,” wrote one person who said he was not in the wrong.

“My husband goes on guy trips probably once a year, I even encourage it sometimes. It’s normal and healthy,” another said, adding that the girlfriend may be insecure or jealous but that wasn’t his problem.

“Supportive partners in healthy relationships do not mind if you take trips like this,” someone seconded.

Not everyone thought the girlfriend was being unreasonable. One woman pointed out how “lads’ trips” have a reputation for being a time when men drink and pursue women.

“Your girlfriend sounds insecure and might think you will be up to no good with your friends on holiday,” they wrote. “I’m a girl and that’s the only reason I can figure that she wouldn’t be okay with it.”

Another pointed out that there was a difference between being upset and feeling disrespected.

“I get the upset about you having less time for your holidays with her. It is a problem that would bother me and I wouldn’t appreciate it at all. But the business of it being ‘disrespectful[ is something else,” they wrote.

Several people suggested it depended on what type of trip it would be. If it was an innocent vacation with friends, he was entitled to go but if it would involve flirting, cheating or illegal activities, the girlfriend’s hesitancy was justified.

“Have fun, check in with her, make good choices and bring her back some cute gift and a lot of pictures,” someone advised.