There are few worse situations to find yourself than in the town of Pompeii on the 24th of August, 79.A.D. However this man has got to be contending for the shortest straw draw in the contest of unfortunate places to be standing.
He's been dubbed "the unluckiest man in history" after apparently being crushed under a stone hurled by the eruption of mount Vesuvius.
And it was here he was discovered by a new trench of excavations, still under the fateful obelisk two millennia later.
The eruption of the volcano near Naples killed off almost 16,000 people in the neighbouring towns of Pompeii and Herculaneum.
These buried towns became sites for a special kind of dark tourism. Since the 1700s people have been visiting the scene of classical disaster to view the ossified remains of Romans caught by the blast.
This interest is only sharpened for Kiwi travelers living in the shadow of the Pacific Ring of Fire and the 1886 eruption of Mount Tarawera. Even while headlines are full of the Hawaiian volcano of Kilauea, there is a freshness and connection to these two-thousand-year-old Roman remains.
There is a darkly romantic side to seeing Romans cut off 'in media res', frozen in time by a pyroclastic flow.
It's the same romance that has inspired shelves of books and the 2014 Kit Harington film, a classical disaster of a different kind.
But this recent finding was "dramatic and exceptional," according to the archaeological director, Massimo Osanna.
Findings show he was probably lame, suffering from weakness in his bones.
Which probably meant he had little chance of escape when "a formidable stone block (perhaps a door jamb), violently thrown by the volcanic cloud, collided with his upper body."
And there he remained until he was excavated by Osanna's team.
He may soon become the latest addition of this Roman town's dark attractions.
Here are some of Pompeii and Herculaneum's most tragic and downright bizarre remains:
The discoveries of Pompeii
This horse was a relatively new discovery. Found in stabling just outside of the city, a plaster cast shows it was almost perfectly preserved.
Found locked in a death embrace the "maidens" have been much mythologised. Theories as to identity range from a pair of lovers to family members.
One thing's for certain, recent bone analysis revealed these "maidens", as they came to be known, were actually both men.
The preserved roman walls are wonderously profane. Etchings showing the impulsive thoughts of people two thousand years ago.
listing the best finds around the city. It's a sort of bingo for ancient cusswords.
Bewail the Dog
Perhaps one of the most tragic remains is that of a guard dog left chained to a wall. An inscription nearby reads 'Cave Canem' or 'Beware of the Dog'.
Another dark - and possibly not safe for work - attraction is the ancient roman brothels, covered in beautifully crafted, though undeniably smutty murals. They have been the subject of awe and much sniggering for centuries.
Spectacular bits of engineering, these spa baths look almost as welcoming today. They were certainly ahead of their time.
Garden of the fugitives
What was probably an orchard the final hours of at least 13 of the inhabitants of Pompeii. The plaster casts are stark reminders of the people who once walked the streets. Many of the best examples