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Steve Braunias secretly recorded All Blacks supremo Steve Hansen and his assistant coach Ian Foster during Saturday night's Rugby World Cup loss.
First half
STEVE HANSEN: Well, Fozzy.
IAN FOSTER: Here we go, Shag.
SH: Okay! The haka.
IF: What – what is that?
SH: It looks like a V.
IF: You're not wrong there.
SH: Unbelievable.
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Advertise with NZME.IF: I don't believe it.
SH: You know who's behind this, don't you?
IF: Who?
SH: It's that bloody Aussie, Fozzy.
IF: It's got Jonesy all over it.
SH: Yes. But not to worry, Fozzy.
IF: I'm not worried.
SH: Okay! Kick-off.
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Advertise with NZME.IF: What – what is that?
SH: It looks like a try.
IF: Early days. We're still in the game.
SH: Conversion.
IF: Early days. We're still in the game.
SH: Penalty.
IF: Early days. We're still in the game.
SH: Fozzy?
IF: Yes, Shag?
SH: We're not in the game in the slightest, and now it's halftime.
IF: How do you feel, Shag?
SH: Reasonably unhappy.
IF: That bad?
SH: Yes. That bad.
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Second half
IAN FOSTER: Well, Shag.
STEVE HANSEN: Here we go, Fozzy.
IF: Beaudy! Beaudy's got the ball!
SH: Well, he did.
IF: He's got it again!
SH: Not anymore.
IF: What – what is that?
SH: It's 13-0.
IF: What the f -
SH: Fozzy. Fozzy, everything is turning to sh –
IF: Shag. Don't say it.
SH: What is there to say?
IF: I can't watch.
SH: There's nothing to see.
IF: I can't breathe.
SH: There's no oxygen.
IF: I can't go on.
SH: There's no point to existence.
IF: You're not wrong there.
SH: Death comes to us all, Fozzy.
IF: Try! 13-7! We're still in the game, Shag!
SH: We can delay the inevitable but do you know what happens at the end of the day, Fozzy?
IF: What, Shag?
SH: Night, Fozzy. Night.
IF: That's a bit bleak.
SH: It's on the bleak side but there you have it. It's over. Fair play to England.
IF: We didn't play badly.
SH: The boys will be gutted but I'm proud of them.
IF: Shag?
SH: Yes mate?
IF: I'm proud of you and everything you've achieved. You're a bloody legend mate and no one can take that away from you.
SH: Thank you mate. Thank you.
IF: And anyway. It's not over. We've still got the third place playoff.
SH: Yeah.
IF: Yeah. Well.