By CHRIS RATTUE
What is it about those Brumbies?
There were basically two games going on in the Super 12 at the weekend. There was the one everyone else plays - or in the case of the Bulls, tries to play - and there was the game the Brumbies play.
<i>Off the bench:</i> The Brumbies on fast forward
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New coach David Nucifora could be, some claimed, the man who let the dynasty down.
Their civic leaders even tempted fate over Fortress Brumbies and followed that worldwide trend of obliterating historical stadium names, changing Bruce Stadium into the remarkably snappy Canberra Stadium.
The rest of us could sit back, rub our hands together, and watch the smile getting knocked off George Gregan's face.
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But oh no, no, no.
Having taped their match against the Cats, I started banging on the Fuzzy Super Logic The Machine Is Brainier Than You button when it appeared the game was being replayed at high speed as the Brumbies got hold of the ball.
Reasonably normal transmission resumed, of course, when the Cats came into view. Laurie Mains may have guided them into the last two semifinals, but they hardly purr on the field.
Compared with the Brumbies, the Cats played as if a toddler had stuck all the household valuables through that flap on the video player (toddlers have proved this is possible) and the machine was grinding to a halt.
The Brumbies play the game at an extraordinary speed and always have a cluster of well-timed and placed support around the ball carrier. And injuries never seem to have much effect.
You could drag grandpa off the porch and stick him in the pre-season programme, and he would magically reappear as the new Stephen Larkham.
There also appears to be a new adherence to the letter of the tackle ball rule - especially under the stewardship of Paul Honiss at the game in Canberra - which plays into the hands of the Brumbies, even though the rulings are a bit of a lottery given the complexities of rugby.
The only way the Cats could hope to compete was to slow the game down so they could line up their defence, but the more that referees demand speedy rule following, the quicker the Brumbies will strike.
They control possession for so long and move defences so quickly around the field that eventually opponents run out of puff and pattern. There are undoubtedly more second-half demolitions to come.
The contrast between the Brumbies and the Crusaders - supposedly New Zealand's best hope - was scary.
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The Brumbies looked as if they had a game plan designed by McLaren. The Crusaders looked as if they had got one posted by Motat.
Despite putting out a team of All Blacks, they were damn lucky to beat the Chiefs, who play in patches and will always be vulnerable if they can't eliminate defensive snoozes.
Instead, it was the Highlanders who were the most impressive of the New Zealand sides, making ground through the speed of their forwards, with young stand-in blindside flanker Sam Harding among the most impressive, Craig Newby showing nice touches, and prop Joe McDonnell turning on a stunner against the Sharks.
Which brings us to the Bulls. Like the Brumbies, whatever the change in personnel, they play the same every year.
The basic rule with the Bulls is that you tip them to win an early game once a year, as per usual they stuff up - as against the Hurricanes - and you never touch them again.
Sport, especially European football, is littered with yarns about teams invited to the wrong party.
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A famous one occurred in the 1970s when a top German club invited Wolverhampton Wanderers for a match, but instead sent the letter to the Oxbarn Social Club from the Wolverhampton Sunday League.
Oxbarn duly accepted and were rather shocked when they found themselves in a magnificent stadium where they received the sort of drubbing the Bulls know all about.
There was an even stranger one nearly a century earlier when the Scottish FA sent an invitation to the Orion cricket club in Aberdeen - instead of the Orion football club - to compete in their cup competition.
Somehow, another one of sports' misdirected letters ended up in Pretoria. When the Brumbies play the Bulls there in 11 days, it could be a cricket score.