Sam Whitelock waves to the crowd after the All Blacks' loss to the Springboks earlier this month. Photo / Photosport
Sam Whitelock waves to the crowd after the All Blacks' loss to the Springboks earlier this month. Photo / Photosport
OPINION:
1. It's cathartic
A couple of days after the All Blacks’ historic loss to Argentina, comedian Guy Williams tweeted: “Instead of ‘You’re acting like a baby.’ It should be: ‘You’re acting like an All Blacks fan after a loss.’”
Not his best work - hastening the demise of LeoMolloy’s mayoral bid ranks highly in that category - but a common refrain when the All Blacks lose, which these days is quite frequently.
In defeat, All Blacks fans are, apparently, babies. Sore losers. Prone to melting down. To which I say: Oh yeah? Would a baby do this? *gets mad and soils self*
Laundry issues aside, consider this a defence of melting down. Melting down after a frustrating loss is cathartic, a way to expel the negative energy that bubbles every time Codie Taylor overcooks a lineout throw.
A dejected Codie Taylor and Aaron Smith after the All Blacks' loss to Argentina. Photo / Photosport
We should encourage men to express rather than suppress emotions when the latter — traditionally, the default — is so unhealthy for the individual, those around him and society as a whole.
Plus, it’s funny.
2. It's funny
Right? Maybe not for the fans in question, but for everyone else?
For everyone else it’s pretty funny to see grown men melting down over sport, the thing we all did during PE. Oh no, my team didn’t win the big game, a bunch of strangers who have no idea I exist let me down. Better jump on Facebook and go wild in the comments of an innocuous post from a radio station.
That is, objectively, funny, except perhaps for the moderators of those pages. Seeing otherwise serious adults — with families and jobs and similarly boring responsibilities — lose their shit because the All Blacks lost theirs will always amuse, providing no lines are crossed.
Post-match social media rants overloaded with malapropisms and other grammatical crimes offer a reminder that, for all the problems in the world, rugby is the hill on which some people choose to die.
Which is funny. I can abide historic droughts and devastating floods abroad, but losing three straight tests at home? That’s too much, man.
3. Fan is meant to be short for fanatic
Dejected All Blacks fans. Photo / Photosport
OK, we’ve had our fun, sorry (not sorry) for being tickled by anyone’s hurt feelings. We should really encourage passionate responses, because the absence of extreme emotion has long been a detriment to the sporting experience in this country.
Without fans who care and have no qualms in making that known, plenty of games in plenty of codes can be kinda dull. This is a safe space and we can admit that.
But when you or those around you are invested in a team’s fortunes, even the dullest contest is imbued with stakes. It’s the same thrill that fosters gambling, except instead of financial ruin it ends in emotional devastation.
This is a good thing. This makes every aspect of matchday much more real - the early mix of nerves and excitement, the action as fans live and die on every pass, the post-game party or period of mourning.
Melting down is an integral part of that experience and only enhances the high, if it ever arrives.
4. The All Blacks deserve it
Those highs do feel rather far away, which provides another justification for the current backlash: the All Blacks deserve it.
That’s not to say the world-renowned global entity that is the All Blacks™ deserves it. One bad year hardly undoes undo a century of success, the enviable winning percentage and the three World Cups.
But these All Blacks, as now obvious, aren’t those All Blacks. Just because they wear the same jersey — well, not exactly the same jersey; pretty sure George Nēpia wasn’t advertising whatever Altrad is — doesn’t deem them immune from an old-fashioned crash.
These All Blacks are threatening to put together their worst season in 119 years. Three consecutive home defeats is already unprecedented and even the Wallabies — the Wallabies! — must fancy their chances of winning next month at Eden Park.
Chernobyl would have nothing on the meltdown sparked by that outcome.
Sam Whitelock waves to the crowd after the All Blacks' loss to the Springboks earlier this month. Photo / Photosport
5. It might get results?
All teams say they listen to their fans, but generally that sentiment is akin to a parent listening to the ramblings of a toddler.
Sometimes, however, teams are listening and influenced by the tone — or volume — of public reaction.
A couple of weeks ago, Manchester United abandoned their pursuit of notorious racist Marko Arnautovic, after supporters loudly opposed the move on account of the striker’s notorious racism.
Could All Blacks fans express enough displeasure to displace Ian Foster? Well, no. He wasn’t winning popularity contests when New Zealand Rugby decided to back the coach through to the World Cup.
But could that change? Maybe, I don’t know. Probably not. But still. Post away, All Blacks fans. Melt down like the ice caps. If rising sea levels don’t kill us, another couple of losses will.
