"From one slut-shamed girl to another, stay strong, ask for help."
That's the message from the one-time mistress of former Auckland Mayor Len Brown, Bevan Chuang, to All Black Aaron Smith's lover in the wake of explosive new claims Smith offered her money to lie in an affidavit over details of a sexual tryst in a disabled toilet at Christchurch Airport last year.
In a post on her Princess of Chaos blog, Chuang said she knew what it was like to be slut-shamed after going to "hell and back" after her affair with Brown was made public in 2013.
In the week Brown was re-elected mayor, news broke of his two-year affair with the-then 32-year-old council advisor. Salacious details were revealed, including a sexual liaison with the mayor in the council's Ngati Whatua Room that was interrupted by a security guard.
Today Chuang said she understood Smith's lover's situation all too well having been labelled a ho, slut and whore in a world where men could still get away with "player" behaviour.
As a woman who had faced similar public scrutiny, Chuang warned Smith's lover speaking out would bring more pressure and to be prepared to wear the blame "for opening your legs" in a world where women were not expected to be sexual.
"No one is ever going to ask him to keep his dick in his pants," wrote Chuang.
"From one slut-shamed girl to another stay strong, ask for help.
"You are not alone and please do not ever feel alone.
"There are things that no one else out there will ever understand."
She advised the woman, who has been named in overseas media, to find someone she could trust and manage the situation on her behalf.
"Never fight alone - because this is going to be bigger than you can handle."
She also advised finding someone or something to lean on to ensure her mental and spiritual well-being.
Chuang said she truly understood the motivation to go public and tell the world the truth - but the world was cruel and sympathy would be in short supply.
However, she noted many people experienced and understood, her plight before ending the post "with love and blessing Bevan aka That Mistress".