SuperShorts: Local banter

Ah, those Europeans with their delightfully quaint ways. Those whimsical fans of Czech team Sparta Prague still shout "Slavia Jude" ("Slavia Jew") to supporters of local rivals Slavia Prague. The chant dates from the pre-World War II era, when Slavia fans included many Jewish businessmen. What japes!

The Sparta fans get into the spirit of things too, chucking things at rival players and supporters during dull moments in matches and indulging in the odd post-match stabbing.

So when Slavia defender Marek Suchy departed the club he took the opportunity to cool things down after his final game, waving a scarf that read "Death to Sparta" to the crowd. As they say, Good People Make Good Athletes.

Friend in need

Each year, the winter seems to start earlier. The 2010 Sydney Roosters began their pre-season with hooker Jake Friend arrested and charged over a weekend altercation with a taxi driver. Begin as you mean to go on, lads! Friend would be well advised to keep on good terms with Sydney cabbies: he can't drive as he's still serving an 18-month ban for drink-driving and he might need to take a taxi to court sometime soon where he'll face an assault charge over an incident in a nightclub in which a woman alleged she was punched. Once again, GPMGA.

Sloshed insights

Diageo, the booze manufacturers that bring Guinness to the world, have launched a programme to educate top English rugby players about the dangers of binge drinking. (Er, pot/kettle anyone?) Players were surveyed about how others see them when they are sober, warming up, in full swing, starting to tip over and, finally, when completely pissed. Some of the answers supplied by the "pissed" category include: "Can't see", "emotional", "crying" and "naked in a puddle of sick".

Shining star

Manchester United's Nani is vying to take the title vacated when Ronaldo left the club. Best player in the Premier League? Nope - most vain Portuguese midfielder. He's taken to sunbathing beneath the giant lamps used to protect the Old Trafford pitch during winter.

Marshallwatch

Whatever Willie Lose's got, it's contagious. SuperShorts' reader Paul G spotted a couple of Justin Marshall's highlights in the commentary booth for the All Blacks v BaaBaas game: "You look up and see a 6'3", 95 stone centre coming towards you at full pace ..." Ninety-five stone ... big boys those Saffers...

What's wrong with Huntly?

Huntly folk say the world's most famous philanderer kept his club tucked away during a visit to the town in 2006. Community board chairman Frank McInally told the Waikato Times there was "absolutely no chance" of Tiger Woods corrupting local lasses. "Not in Huntly - I would be first to know." Visiting shaggers, take note.

Free stuff!!!

Don't worry, we know exactly what to give him for Xmas! The excellent people at HarperCollins are giving away five copies of Andre Agassi's acclaimed autobiography Open. Just email us your name, address and phone number by Monday and put "Mr Graff" in the subject line to go in the draw.

Bad week for...

Kiwi batsmen

That's all we needed to put some steel in the Black Craps' wilting top order - a healthy tirade of abuse from a groundsman. McLean Park's Phil Stoyanoff delivered the rev up.

Bad week for...

Felipe Melo

The Juventus midfielder has received Italy's famous "Golden Bin" award after being voted the worst Serie A player this year by radio show listeners, narrowly beating last year's winner Ricardo Quaresma of Inter Milan.

The number

$676m

Pledged by the British Government for investment to run the tournament should England's bid to host the 2018 World Cup be successful. A delight for Scottish taxpayers.