SuperShorts They Said It: 'I have suffered like everyone who has loved'

"There were many sins and I did many wrong things. My plea for forgiveness in my book reaches wider than just the video; it includes my general past. From now on I just want to walk the straight and narrow [path] and do things right."
Former Japie halfback Joost van der Westhuizen after admitting it was him in the cocaine and "sex act" video nasty. Now high jumper Charmaine Weavers has revealed she had an affair with him too.

"I am an emotional romantic ... And I have suffered like everyone who has loved. I am a sensitive person: I cry for love."
Delicate soul Cristiano Ronaldo is misunderstood, possibly because of all that whoring around he does.

"His bed is covered with black velvet and next to it is a massive mirror. Filthy films are strewn all around."
Ronaldo's ex Nereida Gallardo on the "emotional romantic's" work bench. The soft-hearted sod dumped her by text after shagging around, no doubt "crying for love" as he did so.

"We misread the wicket."
Zimbabwe cricket captain Hamilton Masakadza after his side were all out for 44 runs against Bangladesh. All out for 44? You misread getting out of bed, mate.

"Mr Maradona is an utter gentleman. We did some intemperate loving the night before the game - afterwards he left for the game full of beans. Argentina owes me."
Uruguayan model Natalia Rosas Muniz says it was her "lady ways" that helped Argentina's coach guide his side to the World Cup.