KEY POINTS:
It was one of those mornings when it was hard to tell if you were really awake ... David Beckham's snap recall to the England squad? Yes, well - almost believable. But a knighthood for Ian Botham? Give me a break.
The two champions were back in the
limelight for contrasting reasons at the weekend - Beckham after answering the most desperate of SOS calls from England boss Steve McLaren, and Botham after being tipped to become Sir Beefy on the Queen's Birthday Honours List.
For the struggling, half-conscious mind, the thought of Botham - prankster, wideboy, dope-smoker and self-confessed philanderer - placing his head under a sword for anything but capital punishment was a seriously weird concept and, at the time, a convincing argument for still being asleep.
That is, until you realised that Botham, who once admitted to deliberately running out his captain Geoff Boycott at Christchurch in 1978-79, and later wrote a book entitled Don't Tell Kath (Kath being his wife), will apparently be honoured for his services to charity.
Beefy, whose ample proportions were thought to be one of the reasons he began his now renowned charity walks, might have been a likeable rogue in his playing days, but his service to the community has revealed another side to his character.
Since his first charity trek in 1985, a 900-mile slog from John O'Groats to Land's End, the great all-rounder has raised more than £10 million (just over $27 million) for Leukaemia Research on 11 separate journeys, the most recent of which he completed last year at age 50.
Still larger than life, and one of the most accurate of the modern television cricket commentators, he apparently decided to help out after, while seeking treatment for a broken toe at a Taunton hospital, wandered into a children's ward where many of the patients were dying of leukaemia.
New Zealanders will remember Botham best for his exploits here in 1978 and again in 1983-84, especially in the second test at Christchurch when he fell in the second innings to a golden duck and walked off wearing a broad smile - amid claims of pot-smoking in the dressing room.
And some of his teammates will also remember him as "Tin Arse", not only because many of his wickets were secured off wild deliveries, but also because - when touring India - locals would pronounce his name, "Iron Bottom".
But whatever we used to call him in those days, it's a fair bet no one expected to call him "Sir".
And so to Beckham, whose career as England's pin-up boy seemed over when McLaren axed him after last year's World Cup disappointment, and doubly so after he announced his intention to play in North America's Major League Soccer.
But after England's poor performances in the European Championship qualifiers against Macedonia, Croatia, Israel and Andorra, McLaren has done a dramatic about-turn on the issue, and has welcomed Becks back for Saturday's friendly against Brazil and next week's more important qualifier in Estonia.
For Manchester United fans in particular, the sight of the former Red Devils skipper having one last hurrah in international football might be a poignant moment, but it's hard to see the move helping England in the long term.
At 32 years of age, with his mind - and that of wife Victoria - already on making a splash in the American media, Beckham appears the most temporary of stop-gaps, and his recall smells suspiciously of panic.
Once a force to be reckoned with, he plays much deeper these days, defends space instead of opponents, has lost the pace to make the by-line and survives almost exclusively on his long passing game.
Lauded for helping Real Madrid back on track this season, Beckham has nevertheless started in just three of his club's last 11 fixtures, and was selected despite McLaren not attending any of his games.
The wisdom of that decision will remain a hot topic of discussion in the days to come. But as for Botham there's no reason for debate: He's a true England sporting hero.
