Greg Norman. Photo / Getty Images
OPINION
I once asked my mate if he would eat a spoonful of his own excrement for a million dollars. He said yes. I whittled the offer down to half a million, then toward $250,000 before he refused to play my 'silly" game. The point of course was everyone has a price – what was his? He sensibly stopped indulging me; conversation over.
Greed may have been right for Gordon Gekko back in the 80s when Wall Street ruled the box office and slick-haired traders stomped all over the populace. But now?
Although the world still worships at the feet of the almighty dollar – which has left a trail of destruction and a revolution-baiting class divide, there are some instances where the revolting deification of currency should make us all sick.
The sporting world's grotesque and fawning acceptance of the Saudi regime is a case in point. "Sport washing" is a term currently in vogue – it's what happens when a nation with a dubious ethical reputation brings a major sports event to town, an upmarket distraction from what's really going on. For their part, the sporting bodies involved are lining up to dive nude into a money bin à la Scrooge McDuck. Witness FIFA and Qatar, IOC and China, Formula 1 and … well, where to start?
The kingdom of Saudi Arabia is in this neck deep. Golfers Phil Mickelson and more recently Greg Norman have shown themselves to be soulless, cold and rapacious vultures by climbing into bed with the country that has shown scant regard for the sanctity of human life, and the rights of women and the LGBTQI+ community to say the least.
Norman is the spokesperson and chief executive of LIV Investments, the backers of the new Saudi golf tour. When questioned by journalists around the morals of the tour, Greg did himself and the tour a total of zero favours.
I winced as I read Norman's words, casually dismissing the horrific murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi just because there's a buck in it for him. "Everybody has owned up to it, right? It has been spoken about, from what I've read, going on what you guys reported," he said. "Take ownership, no matter what it is. Look, we've all made mistakes and you just want to learn from those mistakes and how you can correct them going forward."
Yes, "we've all made mistakes". We've all inadvertently murdered someone then dismembered the body.
Norman also remarked that any players keen enough to smear themselves in Saudi oil would have the right to speak up about human rights in the Kingdom. I'm sure Garcia, Westwood et al would feel comforted by that, knowing the brutal tendencies of the rulers of Saudi.
Pushed on the recent execution of 81 nationals, we got this: "I got a lot of messages but quite honestly I look forward, I don't look back. I don't look into the politics of things. I'm not going to get into the quagmire of whatever else happens in someone else's world. I heard about it and just kept moving on."
On LBGTQ+ rights? This. "I'm not sure whether I even have any gay friends, to be honest with you."
Norman went on to say that any players who chose to flush their moral fibre down the toilet by joining the mercenary tour would be backed to the hilt by the tour's legal team should they be shunned, fined or banned by the traditional golfer tours.
They are willing to fight for their right to buy their way onto the sporting head table by spending more money.
Fans of Newcastle United - where All Whites star Chris Wood plies his trade - might also consider the ethical ramifications of the recent Saudi purchase of their proud club.
There is an argument that the Americans and other western nations are responsible for atrocious behaviour globally too and it is hypocrisy to shun the Saudis and the Russians, to pour scorn on their sporting influence.
Ultimately these decisions are that of the individual player and sport, but the more we, the fans, turn a convenient blind eye to the insidious creep of these brutal and dictatorial nations, the more complicit we are in their regimes.
Free to choose, free to eat as many spoonfuls as you can stomach.