Student, Aila Tuiali'i , Auckland Normal Intermediate. 07 April 2025 NZME photograph by Michael Craig
“You should go back to cleaning or cooking.”
That’s the message 12-year-old Aila Tuiali’i received in the Auckland Normal Intermediate school playground as she and her female friends tried to participate in rippa rugby at lunchtime.
She is the daughter of former All Blacks and Crusaders loose forward Mose Tuali’i.
Though those words haven’t discouraged Aila’s commitment or passion for a range of sports, she is calling for young boys to be more inclusive and respect that girls have just as much right to play.
As a Year 8 playing netball, water polo, touch, tag and rippa, Alia told the Herald: “Some of [the boys at our school], include us when we play rippa at central zones when we have training, [But] some boys just don’t really pass out to the girls.
“They sometimes just say ‘You guys should go back to cleaning or cooking,’ which I think is really not what girls do.
“Girls are actually really good at sport — sometimes they’re better [than the] boys.
“I think it’s upsetting. If I was a boy, they would clearly like to pass to me, but I’m a girl, so I don’t think they would.”
“I think boys should try and make girls more confident instead of letting them down,” Aila said.
It comes as a record number of teenage girls continue to drop out of sports — at higher rates than boys.
A Clarity Insight survey conducted on behalf of 2degrees last month found 76% of Kiwi females abandoned at least one sport during their teenage years.
It said 85% of young women either withdrew from a sport or never engaged with sport in the first place. Among all Kiwi females who withdrew from youth sport, the top reason was activities such as school or work were more important, followed by them no longer enjoying it.
Sport New Zealand reported a study that showed by the age of 17, young women are spending 28% less time being physically active than their male counterparts.
The Clarity Insight survey found 29% of young women dropped out due to being self-conscious as they dealt with body image pressures.
UN Women Aotearoa NZ reported in July 2024 that girls drop out of sports by age 14 at twice the rate of boys due to social expectations, lack of investment in quality programmes, and other factors. They said 21% of female professional athletes have experienced sexual abuse at least once as children in sports compared with 11% of male athletes.
Aila, who was born in Japan and lived there for eight years as her father played rugby for Japanese club Yamaha Jubilo, explained how she’s witnessed friends lose interest in sport as they go through puberty.
“I feel like their energy probably comes more down, and they don’t feel like playing as much.
“Like my friend — she’s been going through puberty and I think she’s been like, not depressed but I feel like she’s been really down lately and she’s [been] really into netball [in the past], she’s really good at it, but she’s just not into it anymore.”
Aila told the Herald she had felt the body pressures when it comes to girls and the expectations of how they should look.
“I used to be the tallest in my class, but now I’m really short compared to others in my class, and I think lots of women athletes, they’re really built and strong.
The study conducted on behalf of 2degrees and their SupportHER campaign found 27% of girls dropped out of sport because their friends did, while a further 15% put it down to the lack of support or organisation.
World Cup-winning former England rugby captain and Tania Dalton Foundation scholarship manager Paula ‘Georgie’ George told the Herald these two factors were telling.
Georgie said there’s little space and opportunity for girls who don’t want to proceed into high-performance spaces but still want to partake in sports.
“There are not many spaces for girls, and that’s where I challenge what’s available. There’s not many spaces for girls to have fun.
“Ninety-five per cent of people, boys and girls who play sports, they’re just there to have fun and they’re just there to play for life — and we forget that because we’re so driven by high performance.”
“In my opinion, that’s our major problem.
“I’ve got 12-year-old twins, a boy and a girl, and it’s starkly obvious that he has 10 times the opportunities … she does.
“For me, it’s just heartbreaking,” George said.
Auckland Normal Intermediate principal, Jason Pocock, told the Herald schools must try to find ways to make sure that there’s equity and opportunities for girls and boys.
“I think that’s where schools play a massive role.”
“We have to make sure there are facilities and opportunities for students to play, anything that they feel they want to play or have a go at.”
Anna Gorman, senior sponsorship manager at 2degrees highlighted the importance of big businesses backing women’s sport.
“As a business, 2degrees recognises that where we spend our sponsorship money can have influence beyond the dollar value of the sponsorship.
“We are proudly saying ‘We back women’s sport’ packaging it all up under the umbrella of the SupportHer club. We are hopeful that not only will we be able to financially support female sports teams, but also encourage young girls to keep playing sports throughout their teens and beyond.”
Alia knows she is one of the lucky ones who still has an utter passion for sports, despite body expectations or what boys might say to her in the playground.
“I think girls should carry on playing throughout high school because I think sport’s really good to make more friends and to be more social and it’s really good for your health as well.
She said Black Ferns stars Portia Woodman-Wickliffe and Ruby Tui were the athletes she looked up to.
“They tell me that being inclusive to other girls [who] aren’t that confident means that they could be as good as you and stuff like that. I think they both are really good at rugby and they’re probably role models to a lot of little girls like me.”
Bonnie Jansen is a multimedia journalist in the NZME sports team. She’s a football commentator and co-host of the Football Fever podcast, and was part of the Te Rito cadetship scheme before becoming a full-time journalist.
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