NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Politics

Claire Trevett: Simons come, Davids go and Barack still keeps us waiting

Claire Trevett
By Claire Trevett
Political Editor, NZ Herald·NZ Herald·
21 Dec, 2016 04:00 PM5 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

Andrew Little - the centre of attention. Photo / File

Andrew Little - the centre of attention. Photo / File

Claire Trevett
Opinion by Claire Trevett
Claire Trevett is the New Zealand Herald’s Political Editor, based at Parliament in Wellington.
Learn more

It's been a tart of a year but there have been a few glittering baubles to cheer us up along the way.

The main awards of the year have been granted elsewhere. To this column falls the task of giving the minor awards - those not screened as part of the live ceremony.

The GPS Navigation Award: Labour leader Andrew Little.

Little's GPS malfunctioned after former Prime Minister Helen Clark gave him the helpful tip that to win Government, you had to go to the centre.

Little's GPS did not like this instruction at all. It did not know where the centre was. It insisted there was no such place. It then refused to go right and abused anyone who asked for directions.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

One can only hope the GPS is in for repairs while Little is on the Otago Rail Trail, or God knows which exit it will tell him to take when he gets to the election day roundabout.

The GeoNet award for Seismic Shifts:

Former Prime Minister John Key. Key took himself out with an uppercut abruptly ending eight years of "okey dokeys" and "at the end of the days". The rest of National is now frantically trying to predict the aftershocks while Key has gone from saying he was pretty relaxed to actually being pretty relaxed in Maui.

Runner up: Labour's Camp Davids. Half their number was wiped out by year's end after two of Labour's four Davids decided to pack their tents - Cunliffe and Shearer.

National's Camp Simons had a much better year of it - Simon William English (yes, that it his full name) rose to be Prime Minister. He did not pull the ladder up for the Simons behind up. He also elevated Simon Bridges into a role as sous chef in the kitchen cabinet.
Simon O'Connor is still doing the dishes out back but his time will come.

Discover more

Opinion

Claire Trevett: Bill of fare forgettable

14 Jan 04:00 PM

Best TPP Protest: Donald Trump.

The oversized novelty pink dildo that slapped Steven Joyce about the chops up at Waitangi by way of a protest over the TPP was the early front runner, but in the end it was not the dildo that presented the clear and present danger to the TPP. It was the US voters who elected another novelty toy - Donald Trump.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Helen Reddy Award for 'I am Woman, Hear me Roar.'

Winner: PM Bill English. English began his reign by using feminist icon Taylor Swift to devastating effect in an attack on Labour and Greens.

He appointed Paula Bennett as his deputy - the second ever female deputy PM in New Zealand (Helen Clark was first.) He also appointed Bennett as Women's Minister.

Bennett's stance on feminism was that some days she was a feminist and some days she could not be faffed and was otherwise occupied. English said he did not really know what feminist meant, but agreed with Bennett's summary of things.

We assume he has appointed himself Bennett's Deputy Feminist - filling in for her on the days she can not be faffed.

Blackadder Award for Cunning Genius.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

National MP Nuk Korako.

While the rest of us were worrying about Donald Trump's access to red buttons, Brexit, climate change and the prospect of World War III breaking out as a result of tension between the US and Russia or the US and China, Korako had his eye firmly on the things that really matter to middle New Zealand: lost property.

His member's bill removed the need for airports to advertise lost property in their local rags.

The bill made sense, given local rags are almost as endangered as Maui's dolphins. It also made for nonsense. That was where the genius lay.

Very few backbench MPs get their member's bills picked up by the Government.

Korako's genius was in putting up a member's bill so ludicrously trivial and embarrassing that it got a lot of publicity and the Government had little choice but to pick it up as part of a wider Government bill simply to tuck it away out of sight.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Korako was free to mount another crusade.

As of yesterday Korako was musing on a follow-up member's bill on Maori wardens that sounded rather more worthy.

Incoming (Trump) and outgoing (Obama). Photo / AP
Incoming (Trump) and outgoing (Obama). Photo / AP

* The Godot Award for keeping us waiting:

In 2014 US President Barack Obama said he would visit New Zealand "if not this year, then certainly before the end of my presidency".

Since then the NZ-made red carpets have withstood the feet of his deputy Joe Biden and a US warship. We have had royal visits from countries we did not even know had royal families. We've had visits from Taylor Swift and Lance Armstrong. But there has been nary a sign of the man who said he would visit. It has turned into one very long running promotional teaser.

As we speak he is in Hawaii on holiday. He's got one month left.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

* The Post Truth Award for longest-running "post truth" phenomenon - and getting away with it: Santa.

Save

    Share this article

Latest from Politics

Premium
OpinionAudrey Young

Audrey Young: Bishop puts boot into councils as rates table reveals biggest hikes

Politics

'It’s inevitable': David Letele teases move into politics

Politics

Bill banning pay gag orders for workers likely to pass into law


Sponsored

Solar bat monitors uncover secrets of Auckland’s night sky

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Politics

Premium
Premium
Audrey Young: Bishop puts boot into councils as rates table reveals biggest hikes
Audrey Young
OpinionAudrey Young

Audrey Young: Bishop puts boot into councils as rates table reveals biggest hikes

OPINION: It's been the week for bashing local government – although not without cause.

17 Jul 12:42 AM
'It’s inevitable': David Letele teases move into politics
Politics

'It’s inevitable': David Letele teases move into politics

16 Jul 10:30 PM
Bill banning pay gag orders for workers likely to pass into law
Politics

Bill banning pay gag orders for workers likely to pass into law

16 Jul 08:04 PM


Solar bat monitors uncover secrets of Auckland’s night sky
Sponsored

Solar bat monitors uncover secrets of Auckland’s night sky

06 Jul 09:47 PM
NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP