Torn canvas, broken heart

Artist Sarah Alexander points to a tear in her blue painting of a nude girl.
"I don't know how you fix that. Do you?"
She crosses an arm and puts a finger to her lip, cradling the question and an elbow in her palm.
"Guess I have to fix myself first, then her. You can't just paint over what happened to me."
The 33-year-old Featherston mother of three has not put a brush to canvas since before an evening in late April, when she joined the mounting roll of New Zealand women beaten by their men.
Masterton businessman John Edmonds, her on-again off-again partner of several years, was found guilty in August of assaulting Ms Alexander with intent to injure and damaging two of her paintings, including the blue nude titled The Shiz.
Judge Stephen Harrop decided the facts of the evening after presiding over a defended hearing of the charges in Masterton District Court. Edmonds presented his story and Ms Alexander recounted her own.
Judge Harrop, in his written decision, held the prosecution case proven and "did not believe for a moment" any evidence to the contrary.
The court had been told Edmonds' visit in April to the home Ms Alexander shares with her teenage son was at first peaceful. There were cups of tea and cigarettes.
A quarrel over text messages broke the calm and Ms Alexander snapped in half a cell phone Edmonds had with him.
Edmonds had in turn "snapped, at some level" and attacked the paintings and Ms Alexander, raining punches on to her face and head before kicking her as she lay on the floor.
The assault left her with cuts inside her cheek, below her lip and above an eye, and bruising to her thighs and ankles.
The personal toll continues today, she said, despite her clearing of a CAT scan immediately after the assault and the long ago healing of her physical injuries.
"I was on antidepressants for a while and I still see a counsellor once a week. The emotional and psychological damage is worse. It lasts longer.
"Life was good when I painted The Shiz. We weren't together and I was feeling better about a lot of things. Painting came easy. That's not how it is now."
The pair had several times parted ways during their relationship, she said, including a period of separation leading up to November last year.
Edmonds set medical precedent only a fortnight later when he narrowly survived a cardiac arrest that left him without oxygen for 25 minutes and plunged him in to a prolonged coma.
Ms Alexander said she willingly took up a bedside vigil after learning of his plight. Days became weeks and she remained with him, at his insistence, after he woke.
"He was in need and I answered. Friends told me I was mad. But you don't just turn off like a tap when you separate, and he almost died.
"During the defended hearing he denied I was ever there for him. That really hurt and confused me."
Ms Alexander said she has reluctantly travelled several times to Masterton as the charges passed through court - giving prosecution evidence alongside her son, 16, who witnessed the attack.
She has also appeared at a bail hearing against Edmonds involving texts he sent to her cell phone that breached conditions prohibiting contact, she said.
Judge Harrop on Thursday remanded Edmonds to reappear on October 16 in Wellington for sentence on the assault and intentional damage charges.
Susan Howan, Ministry of Justice acting general manager for district courts, said for the year to June most of 329 domestic violence prosecutions have been heard in the Family Violence Court in Masterton, which first sat on March 14 in 2007.
The Masterton court was established as one of three servicing the greater Wellington region in response to community concerns about the increases in family violence cases, she said.
The focus of the courts, which now operate throughout New Zealand, is on getting offenders to take responsibility for their actions, promoting victim safety, and cutting the time it take for family violence cases to be heard and resolved, Ms Howan said.
"The courts are there also to ensure that those affected by family violence court cases get the right help and education."
Ms Alexander said a Victim Support worker has been at her side throughout the prosecution of her former partner and along with police made the experience bearable.
She said her attitude has today steeled even further against domestic violence and her advice is simple, clear and direct.
"To any other women who are afraid of being caught in a similar situation, get out now. Walk away - hell, run if you have to - before the choice is made for you."