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Home / New Zealand

Steve Braunias: The secret diary of The America's Cup

Steve Braunias
By Steve Braunias
Senior Writer·NZ Herald·
19 Mar, 2021 04:00 PM4 mins to read

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Tourism New Zealand called and said, "Rod," they said, "Rod, can you hear me? Can you hear me? Photo / Sylvie Whinray

Tourism New Zealand called and said, "Rod," they said, "Rod, can you hear me? Can you hear me? Photo / Sylvie Whinray

Steve Braunias
Opinion by Steve Braunias
Steve Braunias writes for the Listener and Newsroom.
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OPINION:

MONDAY

Peter Montgomery: Well here we are with the scores even and you would have to say that right now anyone could win the Auld Mug, including the two teams in the race.

Sometimes this boat race makes sense and sometimes it doesn't, just as sometimes I make sense and sometimes I don't. But one thing is for certain. Peter Burling is a master sailor. We saw how in race four he cut it fine against the countdown clock to the start line. Well, he was just like Indiana Jones snatching his hat right before that huge wall shuts behind him. And that's the America's Cup in a nutshell. It's the temple of doom. It's the raiders of the lost ark – but if you were to lose an ark, then the one man you would want sailing it is Peter Burling. He will find his way home. He will get to the finish line. And we will get there with him, sink or swim, preferably swim.

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Grant Robertson: I could care less about the America's Cup.

TUESDAY

Tourism New Zealand called and said, "Rod," they said, "Rod, can you hear me? Can you hear me? Photo / Sylvie Whinray
Tourism New Zealand called and said, "Rod," they said, "Rod, can you hear me? Can you hear me? Photo / Sylvie Whinray

Sir Rod Stewart: Aye, I am sailing. On a boat on the Thames. It's a bit cloudy. A wee bit overcast. Not a very good day for it at all. All things considered, I'd rather be wrapped up warm indoors but my ex-wife's country needs me. Tourism New Zealand called and said, "Rod," they said, "Rod, can you hear me? Can you hear me? Through the dark night, far away?"

And I said, "Aye, what is it you want and how much money do you have?"

Well one thing led to another and here I am on a boat in the Thames to sing "Sailing" for goodness how many Kiwis to sing along to in a Rock the Dock event as Team New Zealand competes in the America's Cup.

People say to me, "Rod," they say, "by the looks of things, only about 17 Kiwis sang along to it at the Viaduct and this may not represent good value for the Tourism New Zealand spend of $918,000."

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Och, surely it was more than 17 people. Who can say?

Grant Robertson: I don't give two hoots about the America's Cup.

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WEDNESDAY

Peter Burling: To do something like this on home waters is something that I think our whole team is incredibly proud of.

THURSDAY

Grant Robertson: Congratulations to Team New Zealand! To do something like this on home waters is something that I think our whole country is incredibly proud of.

Peter Burling and the crew have won a magnificent race. It's an achievement that all Kiwis can enjoy and share because it's at moments like these that the true greatness of New Zealand and New Zealanders is revealed. Plus we are after all an island nation and spend a lot of our time in the water so we can all relate to this stunning victory, this historic occasion, this reminder that all is well and we can set about our lives with a spring in our step and hope in our hearts.

So let's not focus too much on the news that our drop in GDP is a lot worse than expected and we're in a recession.

FRIDAY

Peter Montgomery: Kudos to Jimmy Spithill. He has taken up residence in the temple of doom.

Bravo to Peter Burling. He found the ark.

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But will the next America's Cup be held in New Zealand waters? Or was that the last crusade?

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