Runaway pram tragedy: Mother Denise Zhu felt responsible, tried to get pregnant to ‘fix’ the guilt

Cameron Labone and Denise Zhu with their children Cooper, 2, and Mei-Mei, five weeks. The couple's first daughter, Chloe, was fatally hit by a van when her runaway stroller rolled onto Lake Rd in 2020. Photo / Jason Oxenham

The mother of a baby who died after her runaway stroller was struck by a van says she was racked with guilt and thought about leaving her partner.

In her first interview since the accident in October 2020, Denise Zhu, 36, says she didn’t think her relationship with Cameron Labone, 34, would survive but having faith and seeing a counsellor has helped them heal. The couple have since had two children, Cooper, 2, and Mei-Mei, five weeks.

“I thought about leaving Cameron, but I am so pleased I didn’t. I was numb from the moment the accident happened, but the grief kicked in when Cooper was born, it took that long to hit me. I felt immense anxiety and I wasn’t happy with my life,” Zhu said.

She suffered post-natal anxiety after Cooper’s birth and was constantly worried something bad would happen to him.

“I got pregnant to fix the guilt. I was in a hurry to get pregnant again, I wanted to be a mum again. I felt responsible for Chloe’s accident, she was my everything. Chloe was cute and had a chilled personality, I feel her presence every day.

Denise Zhu with her newborn daughter Mei-Mei. Photo / Jason Oxenham.

“The guilt is not as intense as before but it’s always with me. I have now accepted it was a horrible accident. When Cameron and I argued, we were full of hate, he blamed me and said I killed her, that was horrible.”

Labone said the couple were both stressed and probably both said things they regretted.

Zhu was raised in Qingdao, China, and came to New Zealand 10 years ago to study for a master’s degree. In 2018, she met Labone, a self-employed handyman, online.

“There is a Chinese saying which is, ‘the love of a father is like a mountain, sturdy and solid’. Cameron is my mountain; he is the backbone of our family, but I am the bossy one.”

The couple moved from their home in Lake Rd, Northcote, to Bayview shortly after five-month-old Chloe’s stroller rolled down the driveway and into traffic. Whenever Zhu drives past her old house, she has flashbacks of that day.

That morning, she broke her routine to wake up 5-month-old Chloe for a Plunket appointment. As they were leaving, Zhu, who says she was drowsy from a bad night’s sleep, realised she’d forgotten Chloe’s dummy and raced inside to get it while Chloe was in her stroller, waiting in the sun.

“I didn’t realise the brake wasn’t on obviously. I got the dummy and thought ‘Oops, where’s the stroller? Where’s Chloe?’ It was rush hour and I saw a group of people by the road. I panicked and my mind went blank. I ran down the driveway and I saw my little girl lying in the middle of the road.”

Five-month-old Chloe Labone, who was killed when her pram rolled down the driveway into oncoming traffic.

Sudhir Saksena was driving his Volkswagen van uphill when it struck the stroller. The force of the impact caused the carrycot to dislodge from the frame.

When Saksena stopped, the stroller frame was still attached to the front of his van. Saksena has also moved away from Northcote since the accident and has told the Herald on Sunday he couldn’t bear reliving what he saw.

In May, coroner Tracey Fitzgibbons’ findings ruled that, although Chloe’s death was accidental, there were steps that could have been taken to ensure it did not occur. She wrote: “I agree that the collision likely occurred because of the brake lever of the Stokke stroller not being applied.”

Zhu remembers the kindness of strangers and Labone’s family, who wrapped her in love, but says the trolls on Chinese social media were brutal.

“Kiwis were kind and didn’t blame me but Chinese media was bitchy. They said, ‘It’s the mum’s fault, she shouldn’t be so careless, she caused the death of her baby’. It was hurtful and upset me.”

After Chloe’s death, Zhu, a property manager, went straight back to work as a distraction but it didn’t help.

“I tried to get rid of the pain by being busy at work but it didn’t cure the pain or the guilt I felt.”

Cameron Labone with his son, Cooper. Photo / Michael Craig

Then Zhu became pregnant a month later and had a son, Cooper. She says being a mother was challenging and she was overly cautious.

“I was scared something bad would happen to him. I felt I wasn’t doing anything right and became anxious if Cooper wasn’t eating or sleeping.”

Cooper, who is “boisterous” and full of energy, recently celebrated his second birthday.

Labone says: “I love being a dad, it gives me purpose. Cooper loves fire engines and helicopters and cars. He is my shadow, my little buddy.”

In November last year, Zhu discovered she had an unplanned child on the way.

“Cooper was planned and was a way of fixing my guilt. But we had a hard time with Cooper, and we didn’t think it was a good time to have another baby so quickly. We had financial pressures, and it would have added more stress in our lives,” she says.

The parents decided on a termination, but fate intervened. Zhu had been involved in a tribunal hearing that went over time, so she had to cancel her hospital appointment.

She also went to a tarot card reader who told her she was having a baby girl, to keep her and that their financial stresses would work out.

Before the baby was due, Cooper started hugging and touching “Chloe Bear”, a teddy bear made from Chloe’s clothes and stuffed with her ashes. She sits next to her father’s side of the bed.

Denise Zhu with Cooper and "Chloe Bear". Photo / Jason Oxenham

“This has never happened before,” Zhu says.

“It is a very spiritual feeling, to be honest. We told Cooper, ‘Chloe Bear is your big sister’. When he looks at photos of Chloe on the wall he says ‘Mei-Mei baby’, that’s why we have called the baby Mei-Mei, which means little sister in Chinese.”

The parents believe that, because Mei-Mei was not planned, she is a gift from Chloe.

Denise Zhu with newborn daughter Mei-Mei. Photo / Jason Oxenham

Zhu says she has “flashbacks” of Chloe’s accident when she takes Cooper for walks, but she enjoys being outdoors with Mei-Mei.

“I am very cautious about checking the brakes. This new stroller is much easier to operate and has on and off lights.”

Labone says the couple have stopped the blame game and Zhu is trying to forgive herself.

“I am getting there. I have found hope. I have learned not to rush. I take my time and I slow down. I am happy our life is complete, we have come full circle. Our story has a happy ending.”

Carolyne Meng-Yee is an Auckland-based investigative journalist. She has worked for the Herald since 2007 and was previously a commissioner at TVNZ and a current affairs producer for 60 minutes, 20/20 and Sunday.