Oh no, our house sitters didn't see this coming. Photo / 123rf
It seemed like a perfect plan. Our friends could house sit for the last month of our holiday and we'd find others to do the first fortnight.
We signed on a couple who really, really wanted to stay at our place, despite my warnings that it was remote, rural and populated by livestock including large bulls. Then, two days before we flew to Darwin, disaster. Our friend, the second sitter, had hit a health problem and was in hospital in the South Island.
There was only one solution – we'd revisit the house sitting website and find replacements. Time was short. No one responded. The farmer signed us onto a second house sitting site, we met our first house sitters, charming people, and off we flew.
Remote national parks have almost nil Wi-fi, then I fell in a river and swamped my phone. If anyone wanted to housesit their messages remained in cyberspace. After my phone did a lengthy jitterbug on a sunny rock, I put it in a bag of rice. Surely this was an urban myth but, again, it was the only possible solution.
Halleluia! It lived. Back in Darwin came a flood of emails. None from potential house sitters but plenty from the couple in residence. We'd left home just as winter closed its jaws. Unfortunately rats, seeking a warm and dry abode, had moved in.
Our sweet urban house sitters were horrified. They'd actually seen rats which is a step up from just hearing the patter of their tiny feet in the ceiling.
On the plus side, and boy, did we need one, our friend was well and back at home.
Several calming emails later and some visits from the farm manager burdened with rat bait and our house sitters settled - sort of.
The farm manager told us 2019 was turning out to be a bad year for rats – that's unless you were a rat. This is not just a mast year, but a mega mast year thus trees have dropped more seed than in the last 50 years or so. The upshot: well fed rats which have bred like, well, rabbits.
This is bad for birds, native critters – and us. Rats have even infested urban areas and, sadly, vets have dealt with record numbers of poisoned dogs.
Our sweet couple and babe wanted out. Could they leave earlier than arranged? Sure, we said despite having no other house sitters. There was no other answer.
Then a message from a couple who I phoned back immediately. We didn't even look at reviews about their past assignments. They sounded competent, promised to care for our cats and house. A rush of relieved tears (mine) followed my emphatic 'yes'!
Then came the black humour. Who were they – really? Would they clean out the house? Had they claimed to like fishing just to win our trust? Then they asked to arrive a day later due to a medical appointment. Was this another trust-inducing ruse?
Our first sitters stayed an extra day, we made a changeover plan and our holiday proceeded.
It was the new house sitters' first day when a text came while we were at a pearl farm north of Broome: Please phone. It sounded urgent.
Mr Housesitter had started the pump that sent water from a dam up to a hilltop tank near the house. Then, as he walked up the hill to check all was well, he'd turned around. The pump was engulfed in flames.
He was distraught. It was his first day on the job. The farmer calmly arranged, long distance, for the purchase of a new pump then continued to learn the intricacies of pearl farming.
We didn't hear from them again, but friends told us they seemed so capable they'd even know what to do if the roof blew off. We got home to a weeded garden, mowed lawns, spotless house and, I'm not kidding, even cutlery shiny as new.
All things considered our house sitting arrangements went like a dream. And, a small bonus, the farmer and I skipped meeting the rodent visitors.