In Beehive Diaries this week, Green MP Chlöe Swarbrick checks out the drug testing at Splore, Chris Hipkins faces the needle, Chris Penk tries out April Fool's, and Simon Bridges finally gets to see his beloved Wiggles: but it did not quite go to plan.
Sunday: Green MP Chlöe Swarbrick's Splore moment
Last weekend's Splore music festival at the Tapapakanga Regional Park provided an opportunity for Green Party MP Chlöe Swarbrick to see drug testing at music festivals in action.
The Know Your Stuff volunteers had named a spectrometer (the drug testing machine) Chlöe in honour of her advocacy for the swift law change to allow festival-goers to have their drugs tested. It even had her photo on it.
After taking part in a panel discussion at the festival, Swarbrick went to the Know Your Stuff tent to watch the other Chlöe do her thing.
Alas, Chlöe the spectrometer developed performance anxiety, and promptly broke down.
That “legal” bit on @KnowYourStuffNZ’s new yellow flag at @Splore this year got me good. We did that.— Chlöe Swarbrick (@_chloeswarbrick) March 28, 2021
People - like Wendy and the dozens of incred volunteers, and festival organisers who want to protect their punters - no longer risk arrest for offering this life saving service. pic.twitter.com/oFbsAxzYpK
Wednesday: Who's afraid of the big, bad needle?
Covid-19 Minister Chris Hipkins took on the role of the royal taster when it came to test-driving the Pfizer Covid-19 vaccination for Government ministers.
Hipkins turned up for his jab out at Lower Hutt with associate health minister Dr Ayesha Verrall.
With the cameras rolling, the nurse approached Hipkins and Hipkins blurted that he was not going to watch. Asked how he felt about needles, he admitted "I'm not a great fan."
Verrall proved to be less of a wimp and sat through it stoically. She later attributed that to one of the advantages of her shift from epidemiologist to politician: "I've got much thicker skin over the last few months."
Thursday: Chris Penk, Fool
MPs fly a lot more than most others, and that means they also hear the interminable Air NZ safety ads more than most.
National MP Chris Penk turned his hands to making his own version for April Fool's Day.
Filmed in Parliament's debating chamber and his office, it features fellow MP Simeon Brown (as the child in the oxygen mask segment). Former Air NZ CEO Christopher Luxon gets a cameo appearance after the credits.
Alas, Penk broke one of the safety rules of Parliament: the need to get the Speaker's permission to film in the debating chamber.
Penk said he had intended to, but argued there was "a little known Standing Order" that exempted anything published before midday on April Fool's Day.
When Beehive Diaries put that to the Speaker, he said Penk could test that defence at the Privileges Committee. It is hard to know if Trevor Mallard was joking – the response came well after midday.
Friday (last week): Simon Bridges' Wiggles date
Having put his reputation on the line to get the Wiggles MIQ spots by issuing thundering demands (okay, writing a letter), National Party MP Simon Bridges finally went to watch them last Friday.
He built up for it by excitedly re-tweeting the Wiggles tweets from around New Zealand.
Alas, it was a fraught affair.
He missed out on tickets for the Tauranga concert, so had to traipse over to Hamilton instead with wife Natalie and daughter Jemima. His two sons had school so had to miss it, and wee Jemima "wasn't that into it".
$135 later, he discovered the seats were duds: miles away from the action.
To add insult to injury, when the official documents on the handling of the Wiggles were released this week they gave all the credit for getting the Wiggles into the country to the Prime Minister.
They did at least play Bridges' favourite song: Skinnamarink.