Claire Trevett's roundup of the highlights of the week, featuring the big head of Shane Jones, MPs' psychological warfare at the Cricket World Cup, and Act leader David Seymour's empathy with crushed metal.
Monday: Shane Jones, recycled
The first week of a three-week long recess sent many MPs into hibernation.
There is, however, no rest for the wicked and Shane Jones remained reliable at providing the Beehive Diaries with fodder.
Old Shane used to mock the Greens, but today saw New Shane standing alongside them to announce $40 million funding for recycling plastic waste into new products.
Jones' – who recycled his own political career when he re-entered politics for NZ First in 2017 – clearly took inspiration from Flight Plastics chief executive Keith Smith's stories of plastics getting "a new life".
Admiring a jug of plastic chunks, Jones observed: "If you're made of robust stuff it just recycles endlessly, there's a political analogy there."
Tuesday: If the jacket fits…
Jones revealed the toll his job was having on him when he put in a plea for new KiwiRail merchandise at a KiwiRail announcement in the Wairarapa.
Jones has been known to sport his fluorescent KiwiRail jacket at Parliament, and now has a cap, too.
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Clearly all those tree plantings aren't quite enough to burn off the morning teas, however: "I am expanding so I don't quite feel as comfortable as I used to in this jacket, and I need a new hat because according to the media my head is also swelling."
At the same function, he insisted trains would not put truck drivers out of work, saying there were already not enough truck drivers.
This sent him into a rather odd soliloquy about Filipino workers.
"That's why we are drawing so heavily on Filipino truck drivers from overseas, and Filipinos are great workers, as you know, that country probably is the most celebrated country in terms of earning money for themselves through international remittances, so many migrant workers working all around the world."
Wednesday: Goldsmith mining and swimming with sharks
National Party leader Simon Bridges was on a week's holiday visiting his wife Natalie's family in the UK, so new Finance Spokesman Paul Goldsmith took over his early morning media slots.
Goldsmith continued with the noble tradition started by former PM John Key of deliberately getting Finance Minister Grant Robertson's name wrong, calling him Grant Robinson instead.
He certainly did not lack confidence. Told by Breakfast's Hayley Holt that she was making him Finance Minister for one question, he quipped "good to hear, not before time".
However, it's safe to say the early start has ensured Goldsmith won't be making a leadership bid of his own in the near future.
Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern's partner Clarke Gayford was at Stewart Island diving and posted a photo of himself with an octopus draped over his hand.
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Someone asked if the thought of sharks ever crossed his mind.
To which Ardern replied: "If it didn't cross his, it certainly crossed mine."
Thursday: Cricket update
Dispatches from New Zealand's Parliamentary cricket team in the UK reveal the Pakistan Parliamentary team are doing a mighty fine job of psyching out the other teams.
The MPs are there for their own (self-funded) Inter-Parliamentary Cricket world cup, conveniently timed to allow them to catch some of the real thing as well.
International media reported that the Pakistan team had been practising every night for months – and that the Pakistan Cricket board had arranged a week-long training camp for them.
Meanwhile, the NZ team was depending on the bowling skills of Ian McKelvie, who has a dicky leg, and the sledging of Bishop and co-captain Kieran McAnulty.
McAnulty's greatest skill is his ability to make bugle noises without an instrument. The Coronation Street theme is a favourite.
At least earlier fears the New Zealand team could find themselves up against the likes of Imran Khan – now Pakistan's PM – and Sachin Tendulkar for India have proved unfounded.
But there is still speculation that Bangladesh Cricket World Cup team captain Mashrafe Mortaza could switch to the Parliamentary team after its last game against Pakistan.
He is also an MP.
Of course, New Zealand could always prevail upon Brendon McCullum, who is over there as a commentator.
Back home, Police Minister Stuart Nash gave media a show and tell on the gun buyback scheme, including watching a gun get disabled in a crushing machine before holding it up for inspection.
This prompted an outraged statement from Act leader David Seymour who decried it as "cheap political theatre".
Seymour – erstwhile prince of Dancing with the Stars - accused Ardern of running the Government like a PR agency with "stunts" such as the gun buyback photo op and wearing a korowai to Buckingham Palace.
He went on to say Nash's actions rubbed salt in the wounds of a community that already felt scapegoated: gun owners.
Given Seymour was quiet about the hurt feelings of boy racers when Judith Collins was crushing their cars, we can only assume he has developed this great empathy for metal objects in recent times.